Elisabeth Strillacci: Dads get the credit for the laughter

Published 12:00 am Sunday, April 28, 2024

By Elisabeth Strillacci

I’m not sure why the funny, though awkward, jokes in our world have evolved into “Dad Jokes,” but if my own Dad was any example, the description certainly fits.

He had the most incredible talent for remembering and telling hilarious jokes later in his life, but in my younger years, he was known for flubbing the punch line.

He worked on that skill and by the time he left us, he was locally famous for his jokes, all of which were what we call “appropriate for church.”

This one requires knowledge of Kenny Rogers and I still think it’s funny, but I’ll tell you why after the joke.

“What did the man say when his front tire came off his car on the curve on the hill coming home?”

“You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel.”

This was a joke Dad told in those early years, and my Mom and I laughed hilariously because Dad presented the punch line as “You picked a fine time to leave me little wheel.”

The other talent Dad developed over the years was learning not to laugh at his own jokes, but to tell them with a straight face.

I miss his jokes and his story telling some days so much that I’ve begun to collect some of my favorite “Dad Jokes” from him, and today, because sometimes we all just need to laugh, I’m sharing them with you.

I hope they make you at least giggle, and maybe, if you have a penchant for the humorous, laugh so hard your sides hurt. And if you have a favorite joke, sent it to me. I can use some laughter myself these days. I take no credit for these, they’ve been circulating as long as I can remember, so feel free to share!

Why can’t a bicycle stand by itself? It’s two tired.

What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.

What do you do if your house is too cold? Stand in the corner, it’s always 90 degrees there.

Dad did you get a hair cut? No, I got them all cut.

Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.

What did the zero say to the eight? That belt looks good on you.

What time is a dentist appointment? Tooth-hurt-y.

Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.

What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad.

Why can’t a leopard hide? He’s always spotted.

What did the duck say when it bought chapstick? Put it on my bill.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course, buildings can’t jump, silly.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they’d be called bagels.

Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch cold.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity — it’s impossible to put down.

Did you know milk is the fastest liquid on earth? It’s pasteurized before you even see it.

What did one ocean say to another ocean? Nothing, it just waved.

Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.

What do you call a happy camper? A Jolly Rancher.

What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.

What was the child who refused a nap guilty of? Resisting a rest.

Why was the calendar afraid? It’s days were numbered.

And finally — Kudos to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets.

Admit it, you laughed among the groans! Now go forth and share.

Elisabeth Strillacci is former editor of the Salisbury Post.