Doug Creamer: I am not a goldfish

Published 12:00 am Saturday, April 20, 2024

By Doug Creamer

I am really a blessed guy because I am close with all three of my siblings. My older sister and I have been close for many years sharing our faith. My brother and I have always been close except for a few years in our youth. My younger sister and I were close because we were the last two at home when our older siblings were away at college or married and out of the house. I love catching up with each of my siblings whenever we can talk or see each other.

My brother and I have gotten together for lunch whenever I am up in the area close to his work. We can talk about anything. We have both helped each other move numerous times. I think he has done more to help me than I have for him, but we always have a good time working together on projects.

My older sister often comes over to see me when I am visiting my mother. We have shared some special times together through the years. There is always plenty of news with her family. It seems like someone is either getting married or having a baby or some other exciting thing. We understand each other.

My younger sister and I catch up on the phone. We always laugh about something and share our struggles together. I have called her on more than one occasion when I needed to talk. She lives a block away from the beach so I love to go over to her house when I visit my in-laws and spend an afternoon sitting or walking the beach with her.

We were talking last week and she said something that I really liked. I had done something that could have hurt her feelings. When I realized it, I felt terrible. I apologized right away. She laughed and said, “Don’t worry, I’m a goldfish.” I said, “What are you talking about?” She laughed and explained that goldfish only remember something for three seconds and then they forget. She said not to worry because, as a goldfish, she had already forgotten about it. The trouble is: I haven’t!

I am a sensitive person and I can easily get my feelings hurt. I would love to adopt the goldfish mentality. The trouble is, my mind will not allow me to forget. I try to forget things. I try not to dwell on things. I try to let something go in one ear and out the other, but it doesn’t work. Things have a tendency to swirl around my brain again and again.

Being sensitive is both a blessing and a curse. Being sensitive allows me to understand others and have compassion for their situations. Being sensitive allows me to pray more deeply for others. Being sensitive allows me to see others’ pain and help them by lifting their burdens and cares and standing with them through their situations.

The problem with being sensitive is that it leaves me broken. Broken over my own mistakes. Broken for others who are suffering. Broken by a broken world. Broken by the lost who do not know the love of our Savior. But I have learned that God can use broken people if they will bring their brokenness to Him. When we are weak, He is strong. He is the healer. He is the restorer. He brings beauty from ashes. He makes beautiful things from the broken pieces.

Sometimes I really wish I was a goldfish and could easily get over things, put things behind me and forgive myself. Other times, I am thankful that He draws close to me and picks up my pieces. He is at work in me. He works through me. He sees beauty and opportunity in brokenness. He doesn’t want me to be a goldfish. He wants me to be me. He wants me to be sensitive because that is the way He made me. Does it get in the way sometimes? Yes. Is it challenging? Yes. It is a blessing? Yes.

I want to encourage you to not be a goldfish. It’s OK to be sensitive. It’s OK that you experience brokenness. Bring your hurting heart to Jesus. Release the pain to Him. Find the peace that goes beyond understanding that He offers to you. He cares more deeply than you will ever imagine. He sees you. He loves you — just the way you are. You are beautiful in His sight. He loves your tender heart. God works through sensitive people. Open your heart to Him so He can work in and through you.

Contact Doug Creamer at PO Box 777, Faith, NC 28041 or doug@dougcreamer.com.