Lynna Clark: Inept with new technology

Published 12:00 am Saturday, March 18, 2023

By Lynna Clark

I’m kind of clumsy when it comes to social graces. Like Don Rickles on the Andy Griffith Show, I’m rather inept. To me, people are scary … downright intimidating. However, for 20 years I worked at the front office of a small school. All day long I dealt with people. I was a little bit good at that. I think because I could help them quickly and they’d be on their way without too many words. If I had to make a phone call, I learned to practice what I would say beforehand. Even now, I do the same. Like last week I needed to check on strawberry plants at the local nursery. In my head, I had the questions ready but when a gruff old dude answered, my words came out “blah blah blahder berrydo have you some?” Also “what is the time of which you shall be closed?” I sounded like Yoda but not as intelligent. Maybe that’s why I write.


It turns out I’m not real savvy with the technology talk either. Someone was trying to call while I was listening to a Marco message from Permaculture Daughter. I thought I could just hit the orange button that popped up to see who was calling. But somehow I got Google assistant who said, “Try saying, ‘Remind me to take out the garbage.’ ” So I hit that button trying to get rid of her since my cell was still ringing and Marco was still playing. Of course Google Lady said, “OK! I will remind you at 9 o’clock tonight to take out your garbage.” She seemed so pleased to help that I hated to disappoint her. Without practicing, gently I said, “No Google Lady. Do NOT remind me about the garbage to be out at 9 o’clock.”

Bless her heart. I think she was trying her best, but she informed me in her very-pleased-to-be-of-service voice. “OK! I will remind you NOT to take out the garbage at 9 o’clock.” So I gave up on her and hurried to answer my incoming call. But alas. They were gone. So I continued the tour of my daughter’s backyard garden on Marco. At least I’m savvy enough to send her a well-deserved thumbs up, heart and happy face. I’m sure she was impressed. Plus! No words were harmed in the process.

Sadly, the call I missed was something from a desperate prince who needs money. I’ll have to catch up with him later. Maybe I’ll just text him so I can plan my words. I sure don’t want to insult the royalty which is surely him by misspeaking. But first, I might ought to take a nap. I have a call scheduled past my bedtime to remind me NOT to take out the trash.

Lord help me!

“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight O Lord my Strength and my Redeemer.”

— Psalm 19:14

Lynna Clark lives in Salisbury.


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