T

he bright pink canvas bag called to me from the corner of the room where I write. The family calls the room my “nest.” From my chair by the window I can see the bird feeders and my three favorite trees: a giant crape myrtle, the twisted dogwood, and my bottle tree. As David’s mother Nina used to say, “It looks like a park.”

Anyway, back to my nest and the pink bag.

Within the bag I had stored stacks of info acquired during my cancer treatments. It’s nearly overwhelming the amount of paperwork one accumulates during the terrifying adventure called cancer. As foggy as my brain was during that time, I was afraid to throw anything away.

The bag did not even include the bills that rolled in. That was a whole ’nother adventure. However, the bag did hold stacks and stacks of cards from people who care.

Amazing. Once again I felt so loved.

I took a whole morning to re-read each one. As I’ve confessed before, my brain is still very foggy so it was all new to me. Just like the re-runs on HGTV. It’s all brand new. I guess that’s the upside of being a wee bit crazy.

In the bag I also found a small journal where I had detailed my fears. It was filled with prayers for strength, financial provision, and simple things like sleep. Looking back, it was easy to see the Lord’s care in every single part.

During an adventure, especially a difficult one like the loss of a loved one or a serious illness, sometimes it’s really hard to see the hand of God. The little boat we’re in is pitched to and fro by the storm until we are sure we’ll capsize.

Then once the clouds roll away we can better see the Lord’s care. It’s kinda hard to notice that when we’re terrified.

What is it that hurts your heart? What fills your thoughts with dread and fear?

It really helps me to write it down. Put the date on it and place it in your Bible by a comforting passage such as John 16:33; or Romans 8:25 and following; Philippians 4:6 and following. It’s like saying to the Lord, “I trust You to handle this, for I sure can’t.”

Before you know it you’ll be flipping through your Bible one day and see your note. It will be then that you realize just how loved and cared for you really are.

Lynna Clark lives in Salisbury. Read more at LynnasWonderfulLife.wordpress.com.