My 10-year-old son, Rohan, had a little meltdown a few minutes after his father and I unequivocally and firmly said “no” to a few items on his Christmas wish list.

After most of the sobbing was under control, Rohan and I had a little chat about what a Christmas “wish” list is.  A wish list is a wish list — not a “gotta have it, gotta buy it or I’ll lose it” list. If you have ever felt a wave of guilt wash over you when your child presents you with a Christmas list that you cannot or will not fulfill, remember that it is not necessarily your responsibility to do that. 

It’s your responsibility to help your child in the areas of education, spiritual life, health and nutrition; it’s not your responsibility to ensure that you are providing your child with temporal “happiness.” Rohan and I are now in our second week of the seven weeks of God, as symbolized on the Jewish menorah during this season of Kislev. This week, we are focusing on the Spirit of Yahweh (God). We launched into a full-fledged discussion about material things and the sin of greed. 

In our society of immediate gratification and little distinction between wants and actual needs, we must keep in mind that our consumer-driven economy depends on the profits made by merchants during the period between Black Friday and Christmas. In other words, everything that we hear and see in the world around us during the Christmas season works against those of us that choose to (try to) avoid greed. How easy it is to forget about giving and not wanting for ourselves when we go Christmas shopping! The entire psychology behind the “buy-one-get-one-free” concept is built on the idea that you will buy an item for someone else, and then one for yourself.   

A day later, I asked Rohan about the significance of greed. To my absolute surprise, my 10-year old was lecturing me on his spiritual take on greed. 

His eyes, expression and words were inspired; I could feel the depth of his thoughts and convictions on the subject of greed.  It was like he was making a confession and repenting for having unwittingly fallen victim to the sin of greed (on his Christmas wish list) — all the while knowing and realizing that he was indeed being greedy. 

He said this: “Greed is the most painful sin. It can penetrate into you. It can go into your mind. You have a want for something else – something temporal. If you succeed, you keep on wanting more. It’s like an infectious disease, like a cancer that starts spreading in your body. You let the devil come into your soul. Suppose you steal from someone, you can be healed with the other person’s forgiveness, yes, but you won’t make it perfect until you give it (whatever you stole) back. So that’s how you have to attack greed You have to do the opposite — the virtue is giving back and the vice is greed.”  

These words are a testament to his religious education at Sacred Heart Catholic School and, for this, I am very grateful to Principal Tyler Kulp, Rohan’s teachers and Rohan’s priest and mentor, Father John Eckert.

What I got out of that conversation was this simple message: greed is about ego. One way to combat ego is by giving back. It’s always a question about others rather than self. I believe what the baby Jesus gave us through his birth and his eventual death and resurrection are things that we cannot classify as material things — hope, salvation, the freedom from pain and sin.  This Christmas let us think of ways that give back to others; ways that do not rely solely on material fulfillment.        

Nalini Joseph is a resident of Salisbury. She is the proud mother of 10-year honor-roll student, Rohan Joseph, who serves his community as president of COVID Busters. Email her at nalinijones1@hotmail.com.