Clyde: Call COVID-19 what you like
Published 12:00 am Sunday, May 10, 2020
Here are some metaphors for the COVID-19 outbreak:
• Another bump in the road construction on the well-traveled Newsome Road path.
• A twist in the ribbon of life at the Stitchin’ Post.
• A clogged drain in the playing fountain at Gateway Park.
• A turn for the worst in the day in the life of the Cheerwine Festival.
• The unknown visitor that rides airborne in the wind section of the symphony.
• God’s revenge for the sins of the fathers of the First Presbyterian congregation.
• Recurrent nightmare that comes true every other day or two at the Salisbury Post.
• Cause for cessation of all travel to the visitor center for reservations.
• End of stock options that would no longer be an option for Mr. Holmes.
• Last page for scrapbooks and snapshots at the Traveler’s Club.
• Big discouragement for excited entrepreneurs like La Pasta and Carpe Vinum.
• Scary risk for more four-hour-long contagious meetings at City Hall.
•Catalyst for books, plays and movie scripts for John Hart.
• Goal for future scientist at Salisbury Academy to find a vaccine.
• Job where the weak-hearted need not apply for emergency medical technician.
• Victim advocates’ loss for explanation at Rowan Medical Center.
• Final curtain for extravagant productions at the Meroney.
• Topic for international discussion at the Checkered Flag Breakfast Club.
• All the more reason for celebrating at City Tavern when it’s all over.
• Time period to wax nostalgic at Genesis.
• A war like no one has ever lived through for Norman Sloop and other veterans.
• Excuse for loners to never leave home again — insert your name here _____________.
• Dora the fortune teller’s vision for plagues to come.
• New entry for cause of death on certificates at the Register of Deeds.
•Opportunity for Fine Frame to catch up on back orders.
•Pause to consider lessons from World War I and the past at the Rowan Museum.
• A boondoggle for trivial activity, crafts, puzzles and games in the garage.
• Deprivation for dating sites and the chance for Jeff to meet up with a life partner
• Diversion from postponed court cases on the docket for Mr. Paris.
• Godsend for parents to be with their kids more
• Inundation of sleep-induced hours for Salisbury Police and others on duty.
•Disproportionally affected folks at the NAACP.
• Chance to redesign and flip entire store at Caniche.
• A hold on yard sales, Greg’s Auction or buying any more stuff to give to consignment shops later.
• Benchmark for making future-plans for preschoolers to graduates.
• Just another beautiful day for birds, bees and flowers.
•Blame for the demise of cussing other drivers while wearing masks.
• Supposition that it never happened — with help from your local ABC store
Clyde lives in Salisbury.