Ann Farabee: A sigh?
I am a pretty calm person, but – the sigh happened. I am happy for those of you who have a perfect life, and it won’t hurt my feelings if you read no further. You may not understand the sigh.
My normal day starts very early and is always followed by lots of hard work. The only sit-downs are in the car, and to eat, which can also be done while standing. My schedule is totally full. Collapsing into bed at night is the best!
But, on this day, while standing in the most popular spot in my home – the kitchen – and trying to keep the family routine running like clockwork, going from food to homework to food to bed – you understand. Well, for some reason total frustration hit me. I stopped. I looked around. I was exhausted. Without even thinking, I let out a breath, followed by a deep, audible sigh.
Two grandsons and the husband stopped and looked.
In my head, I think I wanted to scream, “I’m done! I have had it! I’m tired and frustrated!” But, it came out as a deep sigh.
I calmly reset myself.
And… my family members calmly reset themselves, too. We continued.
A sigh is defined as a long, deep, audible breath expressing frustration, sadness, tiredness, resignation, or sometimes relief.
As soon as my sigh happened, I remembered Mark 8:12, because the first part of the verse has stuck with me, “And He sighed deeply in His spirit.” This was after the Pharisees had begun to question Jesus, demanding a sign from heaven and trying to explain away His miracles.
Their comments surely hurt Jesus, and the deep sigh in His spirit came out.
That hurts me. And makes me wonder.
Do I make Jesus sigh deeply?
When I worry?
When I don’t pray?
When I sin?
When I show unbelief?
Jesus is right there – with me. Living in my heart. But, yes… I make Him sigh. Sometimes – deeply.
That moment in the kitchen stopped two grandsons and my husband in their tracks. It spoke volumes in my home that evening, but not nearly as loudly as it spoke to my heart. What seemed at that moment to say, “I’m done,” really was filled with deep emotion and great love. I wasn’t done and I knew it.
It was a language from my heart. It said I was tired, but I had miles to go – and a purpose to fulfill in my home – and I planned to go all the way.
When Jesus sighed deeply, it may have been out of frustration, but it was also out of deep emotion and deep love. He wasn’t done and He knew it. There was no place to stop. He had a purpose to fulfill in the world for all the world. He had further to go – and He planned to go all the way – to the cross – for all of us.
What a beautiful reminder is this language of love straight from His heart to ours.
Even if we make Him sigh deeply – He. Still. Loves. Us.
Jesus sighing deeply – in his spirit – and continuing to love us in spite of us.
That’s the good stuff – I mean, the God stuff.