Americans are divided on so many issues. Friendships have been fractured, neighbors don’t speak and Congress can’t agree on anything. It seems like a lost cause to think common ground can be found before we erupt in civil war.

I have an idea — divide the country in half. Liberals get the west and conservatives get the east.

Both sides can elect their own presidents. I suggest the West give Hillary another chance, with Jerry Brown or Oprah as VP. They’ll need no a wall, and they can do away with all borders.

The East can handle these issues their way, and elect their own president – maybe Bill O’Reilly or Nikki Haley, after Trump fixes things and retires to Mar a Lago. Businesses may operate from either side, but not both.

The West can give amnesty and citizenship to everyone wanting it. No need for immigration laws or voter I.D’s — anyone living in the West can vote. Everyone gets free health, dental and eye care. If you have bad teeth and make less than $150,000 a year, you get free veneers, face lifts, tummy tucks and Botox treatment along with free cell phones, housing, transportation, food and drink. On Saturdays, pot and tattoos are free. But NO super-sizing; all soft drinks will be served in 6 ounce glasses. If your taxes go up, Oprah will pay them for you. If you want an abortion, you get one for free.

Burger King, McDonald’s and Chick-Fil-A are banned from the West. They’ll be replaced with Tofu Town, No-Dairy Queen and Veggie Wedgies.

Christmas may be celebrated in your home, but not publicly. And any woman offended by their boss’s lunch invitation will be provided free legal representation, a huge settlement and a news anchor’s job on CNN or NBC.

— Kathryn Dews

Salisbury