This is part two of a long dream.

The phone kept ringing off the hook and I was finding out I had kin people I’d never heard of. So I hired myself a money manager. After deducting the computer and RAC payoff, she said I had more money than a circus dog could jump over and could buy anything I wanted, even my own park.

So I met with the big guns at RoCo. They tried to sell me a mall, but I held out for a park. They named their price.

I agreed and bought Don Nicotine Park.

The first order of business was hiring a qualified crew and renaming it. My grandkids came up with “The Wooden Nickel” and a motto, “A family-fun place and fresh air safe.”

My next project was to order a new sign from Harwood Sign Co., “Welcome to Our Tobacco-Free Park.”

Then the dream turned into a nightmare. I was tossing and turning because I had put so many people out of work.

Suddenly an angel appeared and said, “Don’t worry. I’m here with you. Go to RowanWorks and see if they can help.”

Works arranged a meeting with the Recycling Department. The supervisor there said he would interview the displaced workers and see how many he could use for a new program.

After the interviews, he hired all but two of the laid-off employees. One, he said, just couldn’t see well enough to handle the job, and the other had a mental block. He felt like his hands were tied, so he couldn’t handle the new job either.

I asked him what the new program was all about. He replied, “Since the park is now tobacco-free, I’m sure you will want to recycle all those way too many stupid signs you bought.”

“What you got in mind?” I asked.

“With this new crew and so many signs, we are going to re-purpose them to read, ‘Be an Original.’”

“Then what?” I asked.

“We will place them around all the empty buildings and gone-out-of-business places in Rowan County,” he answered.

Then I woke up. The angel was standing over me chanting, “Don’t take any wooden nickels.”

— Whitey Harwood

Rowan County