Lynna Clark: Prediction for the New Year

Published 12:00 am Sunday, January 11, 2015

I think we might be in deep trouble. Indicators show that we’re in for one of the harshest winters in recent history… perhaps in the entire history of the universe. My sources are quite accurate so I may gather extra supplies like candles and kerosene in case the power goes off. Perhaps a few cases of water, maybe some non-perishable items like crackers, granola bars, and canned goods would be wise. A manual can opener would be important, so I’ll need to have one handy.

And chocolate. We sure can’t go through a crisis without chocolate.

Ooh and coffee! We need lots of coffee. I need to hunt out that camping coffee pot that perks without electricity. Maybe we could make s’mores. I’ll need to stock up on graham crackers. We’ll already have the chocolate. I’ll get a couple bags of marshmallows too. That will keep our spirits up.

However… those won’t toast well over a kerosene heater so we might need to gather some fire wood. They sell bundles at the grocery store. I read the other day about a woman in Austria who bought a bundle that had a hand grenade in it left from World War II. Bless her heart. Sounds like our M.O. I’ll make sure to check the wood real good before we use it. No need blowing up the place all willy-nilly. We’ll make a fire in the yard so we can have s’mores. Even though there’s a ban on burning inside the city limits, maybe the firemen will overlook our campfire since there’s a crisis and everyone will be encouraged with the s’mores. I’ll need to get plenty of graham crackers and marshmallows for the firemen. We’ll already have extra chocolate stashed away of course. I wonder how many firemen I should plan for.

We probably need to buy another kerosene container. I’m not sure how long we can heat the house with five gallons. I think it lasts about a week if we only use it during the day. I’ll hunt out all the extra quilts and blankets so we don’t get too cold at night. And the kettle… I wonder where that tea kettle is. It’s wise to keep it full of water on top of the kerosene heater so our sinuses don’t dry out. Hmmm… and vitamin C to keep down the chances of getting a cold. It’s no fun to be sick when there’s a crisis. Plus you can’t taste s’mores that good with a stopped up nose.

I’ll have to fill the bathtub with water. My mama used to do that if there was a chance of a power outage. I can’t remember why. But I’ll fill it just in case. All I know is that I’m glad I spotted that woolly worm in my yard. As I recall, the wider the brown band around the middle, the milder the winter. Since it had no brown band at all we are in for a doozy!

Or is it the other way around…

Hmmm…

Either way, I’d better be sure to stock up on chocolate.

And fill the bathtub.

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