Straight, proud and unapologetic
Published 12:00 am Friday, May 10, 2013
OK, now I’m confessing to a poorly kept secret — I am a heterosexual black female who loves men and has achieved some modicum of success. So, now will President Obama, Bill Clinton and others give me a call for coming out and openly expressing my sexual preference?
Though I haven’t been asked and no sensible inquiring minds particularly wants to know, suddenly everyone wants to tell that they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or of some other sexual preference. Who truly cares?
My scientific brain has always appreciated there are some who may come into the world with sexual ambiguity, such as the more than 10,000 hermaphrodites born annually. Whether homosexuality is genetic, a choice or a trend is still debated in some scientific circles.
The most unsettling thing is the desire to overturn social policy based on so little outcome data but instituted simply because these are things people may want to do, from gay marriage to their adoption of children or making babies through often inconceivable measures with unclear legal ramifications. Is this not what is also being done on the legalization move for marijuana? This attitude follows the no harm, no foul logic.
Few reliable longitudinal studies have been done to determine the negatives for others such as children who are brought into these situations. Appreciating that gays who adopt usually get older kids, hard-to-place infants and those usually picked last, their willingness to engage in parenthood is often applauded. Nonetheless, are we looking at the evolution of childhood thinking and future choices which will be impacted by this move?
The psychological side of my brain is disturbed by the further negative impact of changing gender roles in undermining already fragile black families. With Lyndon Johnson’s push for a “Great Society” came the requirement that families not live as a unit with a man in the house if they were to receive public assistance. This has had a disproportionately negative effective on black families. With prison populations hitting black males hard, another segment of consorts is thereby again removed. The infiltration of drugs and the alternative misogynist “gangsta” culture too often degrade women and use them as pawns, further distancing black men from black women. And now, black men in the closet are coming out or remaining on the down-low, which may be perceived as another blow to viable relationships with these men at the expense of black women.
So where are the companions to be found for black women looking for a good straight man?
I have learned to accept that there are people in the world who don’t share my values, including some in my own family; but on this issue, I’m still sticking with the Torah and commandments handed down by G-d.
Dr. Ada M. Fisher, a former school board member, is the N.C. Republican National Committee Woman and author of “Common Sense Conservative Prescriptions: Solutions for What Ails Us.”