Jan McCanless column: Waiting for the call from ABC

Published 12:00 am Thursday, August 13, 2009

I was at one of those meet and greet things some time ago, when one of my readers asked me if there was a particular TV show I would like to be on. There sure is, it’s called Dancing With the Stars, and, I’m ready anytime ABC wants to contact me.
Does it matter, I wonder, if I can’t dance too well?
In my mind, I picture myself gliding across the floor and around the room on the arms of one of those good- looking male dancers, simply wowing the crowd to their feet!
Yeah, right.
The junior high school I attended gave us ballroom dancing classes once a week, in place of our gym classes. Boy, can I remember those awkward times ó the boys were told they had to dance, and the girls were told we had to accept the invitation for a dance.
We’d line up against the wall, boys on one side, girls on the other, and the teacher would give us a quick lesson in the correct posture and footwork for the particular dance we were doing, i.e. the foxtrot or the waltz, whatever, then she’d start the record player, and off we’d go.
I can’t tell you how many times I had my toes crushed by some clumsy 13-year-old oaf !
Probably stepped on their toes as well.
The best dances were the spontaneous ones when we’d go into the gym during lunch and play the jukebox, and dance ó with or without a partner.
Rock and Roll was really coming into its own then, and that jukebox held all the latest hits. We’d be in there just gyrating away to some new Elvis hit, or Buddy Holly. Fats Dominos’ recording of Blueberry Hill was big then, and we would play that song a dozen times during lunch, with all of us on the floor dancing away to it.
Now that I think back on it, it was probably a good idea to put that jukebox in our gym; it got us moving. Those Friday gym class dances were a good idea as well. We learned social graces, we were introduced to good music, and then too, it got us moving and exercising.
Hmmm, and, all this time, I’ve been thinking those teachers were doing that just to annoy us.
Back to “Dancing with the Stars.” They really are a bit more athletic in their dances than we were back in junior high school. The one, two, glide method is a mite tamer than the fast Latin and jive movements that the show employs. I guess, given enough time, I could master them, and, I’ve even gotten back into the Y to get myself back in shape for them, so, the producers can call any time now.
Any day … I’m waiting.
Well, if Cloris Leachman can do it, why can’t I ?