By Janet McCanless
For the Salisbury Post
It seems like the spouse and I have been spending a lot of time lately visiting at funeral homes. I guess when one gets to be a certain age, that is the norm, but quite frankly, I can think of more enjoyable things to do with my time. I am a great respecter of human life, but I’d rather celebrate it than mourn it.
Rodney Dangerfield was always telling us he didn’t get no respect and singing his tale of woe. Well, I can relate to that ó sort of. My kids think my writing is a “cute hobby,” the spouse is always wanting something because, according to him, “I don’t have anything else to do anyway,” and we are constantly bombarded with one salesman or another telling us he can make our life better or simpler for just $29.95 a month! If my life were any better, I couldn’t stand it! However, there is that respect thing.
My friend Katharine Osborne had a wonderful way of looking at things. She was always upbeat and positive, and somewhat offbeat. When I try offbeat, people just think I’m weird. You know the old saying, when life hands you a lemon, make some lemonade! Well, I’ve never cared for lemonade, so I make a slushy out of it!
My youngest son was over the other day and thought I was doing something really strange, to which I replied that I was more fun than a normal mom. His answer was to affirm that he’d really like to have the opportunity to find out.
That’s OK; the grandkids are crazy about me!
Being a little offbeat, or out of kilter, has been my mantra my whole life. I love being unpredictable, and I’ll tell you why. If you are the type of individual who is not what we consider mainstream, if you like things a little out of the ordinary, well, you’re in luck, you’ve got it made. If you mess up badly, people look at you and declare, “What else would you expect from them?” And if you do something extremely well, then everyone is surprised and they sing your praises, saying, “Who would have thought them capable of that?”
You see, it’s a win/win situation.
I read a funny book once, about all sorts of pithy comments and sayings that were etched on tombstones. A lot of them are quite good, and not a few of them go beyond pithy. Walking through the cemetery in Statesville one day, I came across one that said “A Democrat born and a Democrat died.” Another had “Very Tired” written on it. I thought that was good.
Jack Paar said he was having the phrase, “See, I told you I was sick” put on his. I wonder if he ever did.
Ruth Graham has a marvelous saying on hers: “No longer under construction, thanks for your patience.”
I have decided what I want on mine: “Well done good and faithful servant.” That about sums it up, but, my children have suggested something quite different indeed. Their version goes something like this: “Here lies the shell, the nut is gone, close down the lid and let Gabriel blow his horn.”
Well, it does have a nice ring to it !