Editor’s note: We didn’t get as many crazy mom stories as we thought we might.
Either people’s moms are pretty normal or people were afraid that they’d get in trouble if they told their crazy mom story. Or possibly, we turned people off with our call for stories.
Unwisely, perhaps, we mentioned a mom boiling a cat for a science project. Apparently, people unfamiliar with the animal dissection that used to be standard practice in high school biology did not imagine that this cat was already dead and supplied by the school.
Instead, they envisioned a truly crazy mom version of the Glenn Close character in “Fatal Attraction.” Several folks got quite bent out of shape over the cat-boiling reference, so Sarah Hall (the originator of the story) decided she needed to explain. See her related column.
Thanks to everyone who submitted stories.
The mommy spitshine
I was riding on a float in a Memorial Day parade. My mother spit on a Kleenex and wiped the makeup off my face while I was in front of the dignitaries’ stand, where the photographers were.
She didn’t want me looking like 10-year-old floozy in the local paper !
óCarol Harris
A cool treat
One thing stands out in my memory even after so many years. When my sister and I were in grade school, my mother picked us up for lunch. That was in the old days when you had plenty of time ó we even used to walk home and have lunch and walk back. On this day, she took us to Dairy Queen for great big banana splits.
Not as dessert, mind you, but as our lunch!
óGail Poulton
Mother’s Medication
My mother is now 89 years old and she and my dad will celebrate their 70th wedding anniversary on May 14. I have a lot to say about my mother! However, for now I will tell you about her cure for depression.
When I was 19 years old, I was about to be married to my college sweetheart. However, just three days before the wedding, the marriage was called off. Needless to say, this put me into a deep, dark place. Mother took me to our family physician (whose office looked a lot like Norman Rockwell’s doctor’s office). He suggested that she take me on a trip.
Well, that was all my mother had to hear. After consulting with my father, she called her funniest friend and arranged to drive us to see her sister in California. The trip took a month. We took the northern route out (a week) and the southern route back (a week), and visited with my aunt and uncle in California for two weeks, visiting every tourist attraction available both there and along the way.
It took about three days before I began to actually laugh with my mother’s funny friend, and before the trip was over, I acknowledged that what happened was probably for the best and that I was ready to go on with my life. I have been married to a “wonderful husband” (as everyone says) for almost 46 years. So, the date of my never-to-happen wedding became the worst day of my life and the best day of my life!
óBarbara Setzer
Cat-track fever
My mother never drove, which limited her ability to shop for special occasions. Too, our family needs did not allow funds for a lot of extras.
It was my 9th birthday, and I recall Mom making it one of the best ever. She made me a cake with plain white icing and used chocolate syrup to make what appeared to be cat tracks over the top. We all laughed when she said the cat slipped in and walked all over my cake. It did make a pretty picture. That was the time she made me a pair of jeans and made my doll a pair perfectly identical to mine. I wore them proudly.
I learned a lot from my mother, who made the most of what she had at hand and never wasted anything. I’m thankful for all she taught me for survival in tough times.
ó Rachel C. Boger
Nutty or smooth?
In order to better prepare the community’s future leaders, my high school hosted several civic clubs. One such group was the Junior Civitan Club, which my brother decided to pledge. As a pledge, my brother and his friends were divided into teams and sent across the city of Charlotte on a scavenger hunt.
My brother’s team didn’t have too much difficulty securing their necessary items until they got to one particular request: “Bring back the imprint of a woman’s breast in a jar of peanut butter.”
Now my brother and his friends were at a standstill. They knew this had to be a true imprint if they were to get full credit for their scavenger hunt. Yet they also knew the chances of them getting one of their girlfriends to help out the cause were close to zero.
You may have already figured out where my story is going. One of the boys was able to convince his dear ol’ mom to take the jar of peanut butter into the bathroom, lock the door, and leave her mark. The boys completed their scavenger hunt, became members of the Junior Civitan Club and went on to become fine citizens.
Yet one question still remains. Whose mother was that? My brother wouldn’t tell me at the time. To this day, he remains mum about the mystery mum. He does assure me it wasn’t our mother. Happy Mother’s Day to the mystery mom who helped out her high school son in his time of need.
ó Anonymous
Shiver her timbers!
It begins one morning my senior year of high school as I am getting ready for school. I check my e-mail and see that they are actually selling tickets for the world premiere of “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End.” I am in love with everything that has to do with Pirates of the Caribbean and Johnny Depp and, it might be really lame, but meeting Johnny Depp is one of my biggest goals in life.
Even though I know the answer will be no, I write a note begging my mom to go. I leave the note on the computer where she will see it.
I have a normal day at school and I forget all about the premiere and my note because I know that kind of stuff only happens in movies.
When I come home, my mom seems like she is in a horrible mood. I hear her talking on the phone in a very serious voice…. Later, she calls me into the living room and tells me that we owe the IRS $20,000! I feel horrible for even asking her for anything.
I am so confused. She says she wrote everything down so I can understand what is going on. She hands me an envelope ó but inside is a picture of Johnny Depp.
It immediately clicks that she made up the IRS story as a cover. My mom tells me that the premiere is my graduation present! I am so stunned I throw the envelope on the floor, scream, and then cry.
The day of the premiere we went to the park, signed in, and began our walk down the red carpet. It was surreal. There were people who didn’t have tickets crowded on the outside of the red carpet, but we were treated like celebrities.
The carpet was filled with supermodels, Disney Channel stars, sports stars, television stars, and movie stars. TV cameras were everywhere. The most amazing moment on the red carpet was when I met Chad Michael Murray. He literally bumped into me, said sorry, then introduced himself and his girlfriend. My mom and I walked down the carpet with him for a few minutes, then he had to stop to sign autographs.
Someone on the outside of the red carpet asked for my picture because she thought I was Hillary Duff ó or she just liked my dress.
Later my mom and I saw Orlando Bloom, Keith Richards, Geoffrey Rush, and … Johnny Depp! It was the most astounding moment of my entire life. He walked just rows in front of where we were seated to make his way up to his seat. My mom says she is surprised I didn’t jump over all the seats to meet him!
After the film, in true Disney fashion, there were fireworks and music. My mom and I rode the Pirates of the Caribbean ride over and over in our high heels and fancy dresses. It was truly a night that changed my life and that I will remember forever.
Some people might say that I am spoiled; I say my mom knows a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity when she sees one. My mom and I bonded on that trip and we hardly go a day without reminiscing about our amazing mother-daughter pirate trip. Thank you, mom; I love you!
ó Regina Carli
Meddlesome mom
The best thing my mom has ever done for me is getting me fired from my job, although at the time, I didn’t view it this way. I was employed by a day care center. I had been pregnant and went out on maternity leave a week before having my now 1-year-old little girl. After she was born, I found out that my employer canceled my insurance while I was on leave. Of course, after being out for 8 weeks, the bills had started piling up.
My mother was always there to listen and, more importantly, encourage me to stand up for what is right ó namely, fighting the fact that they canceled my insurance during my leave. Unfortunately, my boss didn’t see it that way. Since I was afraid to do anything that would cause the boss to fire me, Mom made the calls to government offices for me to find out what my rights were.
I guess it put my boss on the hot seat because after I returned to work, the boss told me that my mother needed to stay out of my business at work. I had been back at work for about six weeks, and a virus was keeping my little boy sick on and off. My mother would take off time from her job to pick him up every time and take him to the doctor so I wouldn’t have to get off (actually, I wasn’t allowed time off to deal with a sick child).
One day, I called Mom to tell her that he was sick again. I had seen her drive in the lot, and I called to the office for someone to come to my class for a few minutes so I could take him out ó but no one showed up. After 15 minutes, when I didn’t come out, Mom called in to the office to ask them to let me know she was there to pick him up. Evidently, the person answering the phone got the message confused, because the next thing I knew, the boss was on the in-house phone yelling at me that she was tired of my mother and that I no longer had a job.
It was emotional for both Mom and me, but in the end, I realized that it was the best thing that could have happened. I have gotten to see my son and daughter every day, watch them learn new things, watch my little girl’s first crawls, first steps, learning to talk, teach my son how to use the “potty,” etc… And now when I call to thank her every day for “getting me fired,” we can laugh about it and both see that it was truly a blessing in disguise.
Not only did Mom stand up for me, she showed me how to stand up for myself and to try to do what is right. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! I love you so much!
óLyndsay Tomlinson
A puzzling event
When I was in high school, I had a subject that I hated. Let’s say it was in the science arena.
Unfortunately, my teacher hated me as much as I hated her class. I was good friends with John Freeze. We’d been buddies since kindergarten at Mount Zion. She loved John and hated me. I think she was jealous.
Anyway, one morning on spring break, my teacher called my mother and informed her that I was going to fail her class because I had not turned in some work.
Mother told her she’d bring me to school immediately.
She woke me up and I immediately went into hysterics. This was not an uncommon event at the time.
When we got to school ó me still sniffling and snuffling ó this teacher told my mother I had not completed ó are you ready for this? ó a seek-a-word puzzle.
I sat down and began to work on the puzzle ó and my mother let this teacher have it. I mean, she lit into her. She gave her down the county.
Up until this point, my mother had been firmly on the side of my teachers.
“If you have any trouble with Susan,” she would tell them, “you let me know.” Mother’s plan was to nip it in the bud, let me tell you.
Except on this morning, Mom was on my side. Oh, what a wonderful revelation to my young teenage mind!
I finished up that stupid puzzle and it wasn’t long before we were walking out into the bright, sunny morning, hand in hand, side by side.
Where we’ve been ever since.
PS: When my mother read this, she said, “You can leave it like it is, but that’s not the way it really happened.
“When we went to school, I looked around the classroom and found the puzzle tacked on the side of the door. Don’t you remember that?”
No, Mother, I do not. There are some things you just try to block out of your mind.
But thanks for setting the record straight.
Again.
ó Susan Shinn
The green piano
It’s not how long one lives, but how. My mom left this world way too early at age 56. She was beautiful, kind and compassionate, an accomplished wife and mother. With precision she managed our household of four while working a full-time job outside the home. Her involvements in church, schools, volunteer work were never neglected and she sometimes found time for her hobbies that included decorating, gardening, cooking and sewing. She worked hard but never complained. She believed that life was to be lived to the fullest with a good attitude.
Did I mention she had a sense of humor?
In the mid 1950s, we bought our first home that challenged mother’s flair for decorating. She took delight in choosing wallpaper, paint, carpet and new furniture. In moving from one house to another, there are glitches to be dealt with and hers were two family heirlooms. The old, dark upright piano was not that attractive and just didn’t ‘fit’ in our new house. The other, a turn of the century Edison Victrola, encased in beautiful cherry wood, also looked out of place. Not one to give up, mother found a solution while watching the popular Betty Feezor Show.
Much like today’s Martha Stewart, Betty was an inspiration to all homemakers.
According to Betty, to make an object in your home appear less obtrusive, paint it the same color as your walls. And that is exactly what my mother did. The newly painted jade green piano blended into the walls of our new living room. As for the Victrola I inherited, it sits in my basement today, hardly noticeable except for its peeling, off-white coat of paint applied to that beautiful cherry wood … so long ago. so it wouldn’t be obtrusive.
ó Edith Julian
Cheers for mom
Anyone who knows my mother, Nancy South, knows that the list of crazy things she’s done is quite extensive.
Two stick in my mind, however. As a college junior, I was trying to get an internship in Washington, DC. My mom and I took a road trip so we could check out the city. We were hosted and escorted on that visit by Ambassador William Swing, a Catawba classmate of Mother’s. One night, he took us to a bar in Georgetown. Not only did my mother enjoy that little romp, SHE was the one who got asked to dance by those Georgetown University boys!
The other crazy thing was more recent. Several years ago, I persuaded my Mother to don a pseudo-cheerleader outfit with me and perform at a United Way campaign report meeting. We were both cheerleaders in our younger days, but let’s say our moves aren’t quite what they were then. Not only that, we were the opening act for the Carolina Panther cheerleaders! Our abilities paled in comparison. But that’s my mom: cheerleader, friend . . . and dancer!
ó Karen South Carpenter
Contact Katie Scarvey at 704-797-4270 or kscarvey@salisburypost.com.