By Paris Goodnight
Salisbury Post
Al Hargrave of Rowan Funeral Services says he’s always tried to refrain from telling grieving families that he knew exactly how they felt.
But that was before his own father, Roy Hargrave, passed away in March.
It gave him a new perspective on dealing with the loss of a loved one ó and now he honestly can tell others he knows how they feel.
“It made a different funeral director out of me,” said Hargrave, who turns 65 in May. “I do understand now.”
It’s not that he isn’t well seasoned in dealing with the subject. He took time to talk about such things as his business makes the move to new quarters at 1709 N. Long St. after operating from a renovated home at 502 N. Long St. since 1995.
He said, “I’ve seen death in any way you can manifest it. But until it comes home, (that’s when) it really hits.”
Hargrave said no family wants to see a room full of caskets when they’ve just lost a loved one, so there are none in his new building. Instead, family members can view everything needed for a funeral on a flat-panel screen in a comfortable office. Caskets are shipped in from a Kernersville warehouse, which could have one here within 40 minutes if really needed. But usually the family is fine with arrival the next day after they make the choice. Plus, he noted, it keeps funeral costs down by not having his business pay inventory tax on caskets that aren’t sold.
He credits his wife, Sherry, with being the whiz at managing all the online activities that used to be done the more old fashioned way in-house.
At the former house, which Hargrave was renting, services had to be moved to a church or somewhere else. “We outgrew it five years ago,” he said. “It wasn’t doing what we needed to do.”
The new location, which he owns, includes a chapel that can seat 200 and has a state-of-the-art sound system and lighting features.
Hargrave noted that Community Bank really helped make the move possible with financing.
One part of the new building has what Hargrave calls a lay-out room, which can be divided into three smaller rooms if needed. It includes a slumber couch, which some choose to use for a viewing without the added cost of buying or renting a coffin if the family is cremating the loved one’s remains.
Hargrave has been involved with death and dying for decades through his job at Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center’s autopsy center. He retired three years ago after a career that had also included a couple years of medical school at Harvard and work with other funeral homes. He continued to work full time at Baptist while trying to run the funeral home.
“That’s when it was tough. Sometimes you’d work all night,” he said.
But he loved the forensics part of the autopsy job and got to work with some of the best researchers in the nation, looking into such details as determining how long someone had been dead by checking the characteristics of the body.
He passes along some of that knowledge to students when teachers ask him to lecture at schools, such as North Rowan High School. “If you let ’em see what death is, it makes them respect it,” he said.
Al Hargrave was known as Jim Hargrave when the Post first featured Rowan Funeral Service, as it was called in December of 1995. He said he can tell quickly if it’s a business associate or longtime friend calling him by which name they use. His business cards add another twist, listing his name as j. Alvin harGrave.
His son, Cedric, 23, just finished his schooling at N.C. A&T and is enrolled at the embalming school in Fayetteville. His daughter, Sonya, works for the health department but helps out at the funeral home, too. Two other daughters live out of state.
He said his grandsons are already in love with the funeral home business, and he has encouraged it. That was the opposite tack his father tried when he made sure his children would never follow him into the coal mining business.
Jarrell Contractors finished construction of the building, which is on a formerly wooded lot that’s just under an acre, in March. An open house is scheduled for Saturday after a ribbon cutting ceremony the day before. Contact Rowan Funeral Services Inc. at 704-637-8882 or visit the Web site www.rowanfuneralservicesinc.com..