Do you have a best friend? Is it someone you’ve known almost all of your life?

I think that’s wonderful, but not anything I’ve ever had.

Friendships have never come easily to me. Friends have passed through my life so much like sand it’s uncomfortable, for many reasons. Sure, there are folks I have known since childhood, and they are friends, I suppose, but we are not close. We are simply friendly.

The friendships of my childhood ended in hurt so many times that trust became a big challenge for me. I stopped being willing to invest my heart. Because for me, that’s what a true friendship is. I’m giving you my heart, a piece of me, and in return, I am going to care for your heart no matter what it takes.

That’s a big commitment, and it wasn’t returned. And that’s OK, I can’t demand things of others that they aren’t willing to give. But as the old saying goes, “you can’t control the actions of others, but you can control your own reactions.” My reaction was to close off my heart.

No, that doesn’t mean I don’t care. I can’t help that. But it means I’m not going all in, and ending up out there on my own.

And then, about eight years ago, I met a lovely woman, many years my junior, and from the moment we met, it was as if I’d found my friend soul mate. The connection was immediate, and over these years it has never changed, never waned. And she meets me exactly where I am, and is every bit as invested in our friendship as I am.

To find that so late in this life has been a surprise and a gift.

No, we don’t see each other every day, or even talk every day. Her life is as busy as my own, and there have been times when one of us has realized we haven’t touched base in two weeks, and someone sends a text or leaves a voice mail, checking in. And we are both OK with that, because we know the other is there if the need arises.

And along the way, we picked up one more friend who fits in our small pocket of extraordinary friendship.  So now, somehow, I have ended up with two best friends who are as close as I will ever get to sisters.

I know that if I called them tomorrow and said my word was imploding and I needed them, they would drop everything and come running, just as I would for them. And that is incredibly reassuring.

I’ve always said my husband is my best friend and he is, always, but in a different way. He is my life partner and the love and light of my world. But there is something about friendships between women that is different. I’d not had it until my pals came along, but I’ve seen it, and yes, envied it. But I’ve also known that can’t be forced. It either comes, or it doesn’t.

Ronda and Tara are two women I will cherish until the very end, because they’ve made me believe in friendship, and have given me the ability to trust again. I tell them I love them, and they tell me they love me. And I know we all mean it.

And I needed to let them know how much I appreciate having them in my life. Maybe the universe knew I needed time to be ready, and to be able to see that their friendship is real. And I’m OK with that.

The Three Musketeers might have been men the first time around, but the three of us? Swords up, my friends, we are “all for one and one for all.”

Elisabeth Strillacci covers crime, courts, Spencer, East Spencer and Kannapolis for the Salisbury Post.