Sometimes all you can do is save the donuts.

On Friday mornings, the southern side of my nature comes out and I bring bagels to my work peers and donuts to my police friends. I don’t have to do it, and I don’t expect anything in return for it. It’s just the training from my grandmother — you feed those you care about.

And this past week, with its snow and ice, has meant I was being careful walking with my packages when delivering them. I thought I was in great shape, until I caught the toe of my shoe on the top step of the police department entrance.

Down I went. But I turned in order to save the big pink box with the cinnamon rolls and fritters inside. I landed on my left knee and nearly did a full face plant — but I saved the donuts.

I was mortified when an officer came out to make sure I was OK. All but my wounded pride, I laughed, and then I got back to my feet and, with whatever little grace I had left, went in to deliver breakfast.

Like most of us, I was hoping no one would have seen me. Alas, no such luck. It was on camera.

Life is like that. We all have moments when we make a misstep, when we stumble and often fall, and it’s unintentional but unstoppable. And all we can do is jump back to our feet, brush ourselves off and hope that no one saw it.

I had to ask myself why I care so much if anyone saw. I don’t worry about myself or if I’m hurt, but I am very worried that someone might have seen and think worse of me.

Why do we do that to ourselves? Why are we already prepared to judge ourselves through the eyes of others when we make a simple mistake, when a real accident happens?

When did we reach a point where we are so ready to throw ourselves under the bus, to immediately assume that people will laugh at us, judge us negatively or make fun of us?

Are we so unkind to ourselves that we can’t give ourselves some grace? And if that’s where we are in our own minds, with ourselves, how much grace are we then able to offer others?

I know that I work hard to make sure I do not judge, that I understand we are all human and allow room for errors, mistakes, bad decisions in others. I make room for forgiveness, because in my heart, that is what I am called to do.

Why can I not then give that to myself?

We are an intelligent species that has the ability to reason through most situations. We have the ability to process things logically. But the emotions we don’t always find so easy, and embarrassment is one of the most difficult to work through. And yet it is something every one of us experiences.

I wonder why it is so hard for us to accept that we are going to goof. We are going to end up in silly moments, and we are going to have times when the best thing we can do is laugh at ourselves. But we also are going to have moments when a misstep or a silly mistake causes us harm, and we need to find our way to be able to say “yes, it’s funny, but I am hurt” instead of being so quick to brush off our own injury.

No one wants to be laughed at. Being ridiculed has led people to engage in drastic behavior in defense of their ego, and I understand that. I don’t like it any better than anyone else.

But I also know that embarrassing moments happen, and laughter will come, and it’s OK. I am OK. I can still say it hurts, while laughing, and I can remember that it happens to all of us. And I can give myself the grace I know I would give to others.

And after all, I saved the donuts.

Elisabeth Strillacci covers crime, courts, Spencer, East Spencer and Kannapolis for the Salisbury Post.