By Kent Bernhardt

Another Valentine’s Day is upon us. It’s time for us all to reflect on one of life’s great mysteries, love. Forgive me, but this is the one day of the year the curmudgeon in me comes out a little.

Love. It is really so simple a child can understand it and enjoy it. It’s only when we leave childhood that it gets complicated. And we have no one to blame but ourselves for its complications.

When we’re young, most of us know the love of our parents, relatives and friends. It’s not something we have to think or even speak of, it’s just there. We feel its warmth and presence in our lives with little effort. We even take it for granted.

As we age though, something happens in the brain. We begin thinking more and more about love, dissecting it and craving it. Romantic love enters our lives and becomes a drug, complete with high highs and low lows.

We question it. Why don’t my parents love me enough to give me a car on my 16th birthday like my friend’s parents did? They must not love me at all. They tell me they love me all the time, but they don’t show it. If they did, I’d have a car.

And why isn’t the girl I love answering my calls and texts? She doesn’t love me at all, really. I’ll bet she’d rather be with…

And on and on it goes. Love works well until our brains get in the way.

Another thing: I’m not sure the guy who said “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” knew what he was talking about. That was Tennyson, wasn’t it. He was trying to make himself feel better, I’ll bet. I’m sure he meant well.

Our culture handles love the same way we handle everything else. We turn it into a one-day-a-year celebration designed to sell things and improve the economy. That would be Valentine’s Day.  

I’ve had some disastrous Valentine’s Days. Twice I gave flowers to love interests only to have them returned because, “they were seeing someone else and would feel guilty keeping them.” One even said, “I’ll bet there are lots of wonderful girls out there who would love to have these flowers.”  

Thanks. I’ll put an ad in the paper.

I told my nephew the other day that Valentine’s Day was lots of fun when I was a kid, and it was. A parent would always make a large red velvet cake and serve some red punch in our school, and we would exchange small Valentine messages in tiny envelopes with everyone in our class whether we loved them or not.  

I even gave one of those Valentines to a guy named Dennis who tried to beat me up just a couple of weeks earlier. Mom made me.

So my message of love this Valentine’s Day is simple: Love like a child. No strings, no hoops to jump through, just honest sincere love. Send flowers when you know they’ll be welcomed, and only then. And enjoy the red velvet cake and punch.

Sometimes that’s the best part.

Kent Bernhardt is a long-time local broadcaster and lives in Salisbury.