Elisabeth Strillacci: Letting tragedy remind us to live in the now

Published 12:00 am Sunday, February 2, 2025

National tragedies always impact all of us, whether we personally know a victim or not. This week’s plane and helicopter crash is no exception.

But somehow we seem to have gotten immediately into the blame game. I’m not sure that’s any way to go about healing.

Sure, we need to understand what happened so we can, hopefully, keep it from happening again. But that, however much we may wish it were otherwise, takes time. It takes intensive investigation, research and them processing of all those details. To jump to conclusions helps none of us, and harms many.

In the interim, what we can do is comfort one another. If you knew anyone on the flights, this is the time to remember who they were, to celebrate their lives, their accomplishments, their happy moments. It’s the time to send a message of comfort to families even if you don’t know them personally, because we’re all in this together in moments like this.

Remember the way we pulled together on September 11? I know this is not a tragedy on that scale, but it is another situation in which people we don’t know have lost their lives doing something we have just about all done at one time or another — flown on a plane coming in for a landing.

And we’ve all been the trainees at some point in our working lives, worried about getting it right, worried about making a mistake, and terrified that if we make a wrong move, we’ll destroy our career.

More than ever, we’re all aware of having to do more with fewer people at work, taking on extra responsibilities, having to keep things running even when there are not enough of us to really do it.

So, rather than looking for someone to blame, let’s try supporting the families and the air traffic control tower employees and the airline staff and the military and the friends of all that are left behind to grieve.

It’s scary as everything to be reminded once again of the fragile nature of life. We go through our days feeling strong and confident in our routines. We certainly cannot survive if we live in the constant fear of the unknown, of the possibility of tragedy, but it still is terrifying when we have to come face to face with it.

But just maybe, instead of pointing fingers and judging, we can use this moment as a reminder to live each moment. That song “Live like you were dying” has never been more appropriate.

Stop waiting for the “right” time and do something you’ve been putting off. Stop holding back from telling your crush how you feel. Stop postponing the trip with your partner because you can’t take the time off — take it while it’s here.

Sometimes we convince ourselves that we are so indispensable that we cannot leave, cannot travel, cannot take a moment for ourselves. But long, long ago a boss (who became a cherished friend) told me in no uncertain terms, “no one is irreplaceable in a job.” And he was absolutely right.

We are promised nothing, not tomorrow, not an hour from now. This moment is what we have, so in honor and in memory of those who, because of that crash don’t have another moment, let’s take a chance and do something out of the ordinary.

Eventually we will have answers, explanations about what went wrong. When that time comes, I hope that we can stay on the positive course and remember that every human being is flawed, and every human makes mistakes. Some have bigger fall-out than others, and there have to be consequences, but we don’t have to pile on ugliness. If anyone made an error, they are already living with a weight far beyond any criticism we might add. The best we can do is offer forgiveness and support.

In the interim, practice some patience and engage in some adventure.

After all, no one’s headstone has ever read, “I wish I’d spent more time at work.”

Elisabeth Strillacci covers crime, courts, Spencer, East Spencer and Kannapolis for the Salisbury Post.