By Toi Degree
N.C. Cooperative Extension

Self–Care Awareness Month in September is a time to remind us that taking care of ourselves, first and foremost, is essential. Self-care is often neglected in our everyday lives. We all tend to put others’ needs before our own, and it is crucial to remember that we cannot fill another’s cup from our own empty vessel. While getting a massage or taking a walk are beautiful examples of taking time for our well-being, self-care can be more expansive than that.

Self-care knows no boundaries. It is something that everyone, without any exclusions, can benefit from practicing daily. True self-care is not self-centered or selfish; it is simply keeping yourself the focus of your own life. It’s about paying attention to how you feel in each moment, communicating clearly, speaking up for yourself, and saying yes or no… guilt-free.

1. Start a gratitude journal

Starting a gratitude journal is a super simple way to improve your mindset by focusing on positive aspects of your day to help with your self-care practice.

Before you go to bed at night, take a moment to write down three things that you are grateful for that day. It can be something as simple as your morning coffee but showing thanks to positive things in your life will help you to craft a positive mind set, reduce stress and go to sleep feeling happier.

2. Schedule in a pamper night

We know there’s more to self-care than running a bubble bath and putting on a face mask. Yet, there’s no denying that taking time out of your busy schedule to relax is important for your wellbeing and sometimes, a bubble bath can be that moment of relaxation you’re looking for.

3. Remind yourself: It’s OK to not be OK

We all have difficult days and times, so it’s important to not be too hard on yourself. You don’t have to be a shiny, happy ray of sunshine 24/7. In fact, it’s OK to not be OK. If you are having a down day, don’t punish yourself for it.

Instead, allow yourself to feel those emotions, talk to people if you don’t feel OK, and find self-care practices that will help you work through those emotions.

4. Make time to do something you enjoy

No matter how small it is, make sure you block out some time every week to do something for you. Whether it’s 15 minutes of reading every night, taking up a dance class, doing a spot of baking at the weekend or something else, it’s important to spend time doing the things you love.

It can be hard to find time to do extra things, but scheduling time for self-care is important. Once you’ve decided what your self-care activity will be, guard that time with everything you have. If you’ve decided that you’ll start a 7 p.m. salsa class on Thursdays, then make sure nothing gets in your way of attending that class.

The more that you actively work self-care into your weekly (or daily!) schedule, the more you’ll be able to grow, feel more positive and improve your wellbeing.

5. Read a book about self-care

Reading is a great way to calm your senses and unwind, especially today where we’re all too quick to pick up our phones and endlessly scroll social media. Did you know that scrolling through news feeds can contribute to our stress levels rather than alleviate them?

When you feel like unwinding for the night by scrolling social media, pick up a book instead. Even better, choose a book on self-care. Reading books about self-care can help you learn how to take better care of yourself and your mind.

You’ll be amazed at the things you learn and how it can help you be more present and mindful.

6. Meditate to clear your mind

Meditation is one of the best ways to take care of yourself. If you’re new to the idea of meditating, it might feel weird at first. Stick with it and we’re certain you’ll wind up wondering how you ever lived without meditation.

Taking time out to meditate and be still can improve your productivity and mental wellbeing and reduce anxiety. Spend 10 minutes each night meditating to help you on your road to self-care.

If you struggle maintaining focus during meditation, light a scented candle to create a calm, relaxing atmosphere. Place the candle in front of you and focus on the flame as you try to clear your mind. Every time you notice your mind wander, bring it back to the flame and your meditation practice.

If you need guidance in meditating, there are lots of apps out there that have guided meditation practices to help you.

7. Forgive yourself when things go wrong

Nobody is perfect, and it’s OK to make mistakes. So, be kind and forgive yourself when things go wrong.

Instead of ruminating on how you would have done things differently or feeling sorry for yourself, focus on what you can do to improve things or how you can learn from this situation.

Self-forgiveness can be one of the hardest things we do because it’s much easier to feel guilt than it is to take responsibility and admit you made a mistake. But, by owning your errors and making a conscious effort to learn from your mistakes, you’ll be able to improve your life for the better.

8. Say kind things to yourself

Start each day by saying something kind to yourself. Pick a positive phrase and say it to yourself throughout the day, especially at points where you may feel negativity creeping in.

Even if you don’t believe them at first, repeating positive affirmations can help you create the self-love, confidence, and belief that you wish you had.

Affirmations are a powerful way to practice self-love and replace negative thoughts with positive thought patterns. Some affirmations you can tell yourself include:

• I can do this
• I know my worth
• My confidence knows no limits
• I am worthy of love and joy
• I choose hope over fear
• I believe in me
• I am enough
• This is my body and I love it

Use your daily affirmations to focus on the change you want to make or the negative mindsets that you want to fix. Having a positive attitude will increase your chances of success and will help you to banish negative thoughts.

Be kind to yourself and practice self-love.

9. Get outdoors and be active

Spending time outdoors can help to reduce stress, lower blood pressure, and help you be more mindful. Getting outside is a great way to increase positivity and can also help you sleep better at night.

Studies have shown that getting outside for a leisurely stroll through your local green space can help reduce stress and alleviate anxiety.

As part of your self-care routine, try to spend 20 minutes a day going for a walk or doing some exercise such as swimming or going to the gym. Exercising releases feel-good endorphins so if it isn’t already a part of your weekly self-care routine, now might be the perfect time to think of fun ways to incorporate getting active in your self-care plan.

10. Eat your favorite meal

Whether you choose to cook it yourself, go to a restaurant, or order takeout — sometimes self-care can be as simple as eating your favorite meal and allowing yourself to fully enjoy it.

As well as treating yourself to your favorite food as a way of self-care, it’s also important to eat the right food for self-care. Eating foods that are healthy for us can have positive effects on our mind and body. Some foods that can have amazing benefits include blueberries, leafy greens, nuts, and fish.

Toi N. Degree is family and consumer education agent with North Carolina Cooperative Extension.  Contact her at 704-216-8970 or toi_degree@ncsu.edu.