Whitey Harwood’s From the Wood Shed: The race is on

Published 12:00 am Sunday, August 14, 2022

The race is on and here comes Coors settin’ the pace, looks like Busch is in second place and poor ol’ PBR barely made the chase.

The race is on and here comes David Freeze in a 200-yard dash, carrying what he thinks is a bag of trash, but to a picker it looks like cash.

That 200-yard dash made me think of this: Did you hear about the Rowan County track meet? They started the 100-yard dash with a burglar alarm.

After reading Sunday’s paper (Aug. 7) I wasn’t sure if I had read the Salisbury Post or the David Freeze Post. But, I was so happy to see that he had joined the “Litter League.” And I am sure that in all his world travels he’s never been to the “Wood Shed.” Well, today is his lucky day.

I really didn’t understand his story. I couldn’t figure out if he was braggin’ or complainin’.

His story reminded me of another one from a few years back by a Salisbury “Bored” member who also became a “Litter Leaguer.” She had participated in a balloon release with the rest of her cohorts. Then later she went out on her litter patrol. She didn’t furnish us with a picture like David, but she gave a good description of her finds. One I remember was an empty bag from her company. She didn’t name her company, but it made me think of this little riddle I heard about 40 years ago.

What did the potato chip say to the battery? “I’m Frito Lay if you’re Eveready.”

The point about her story was — she didn’t connect the dots, releasing balloons is littering.

Back to David’s story. I don’t think he connected the dots either. The part about the neighbor who suggested he knew a major culprit was a little convoluted. It looks to me like he should suggest for the culprit to run for county commissioner. He certainly has the credentials. Drinkin’ and Drivin’.

The “spray the ditch bank” was my major concern about his whole write-up.

If you use chemicals you ain’t gettin’ it.

If you don’t, I’m sorry I brought it up.

I am also interested and very curious about the prayer list and prayer walk. Can I get on the list? If so, I have two requests. The first one is to get R-rated movies in the public libraries. The second one is for someone to step up and put a ban on releasing balloons.

It’s a fact that Novant pulled out of Faith. I heard they quit “The Hottest Day of the Year” Day, too. So maybe you can pray for them to invest in another trophy to present to the RoCo Bored. I’m satisfied all five will reach out to get their hands on it. Might even be enough money left over to buy and stock the library with restricted movies. Then folks might want to stay home and watch movies instead of getting out and drinking and shooting.

This is a quote from Bill Nye, to every reader of the Salisbury Post, but especially to the “Litter Leaguers,” no matter if you are bragging or complaining: “To leave the world better than you found it, sometimes you have to pick up other people’s trash.”

I thought I was through, but Tuesday’s (Aug. 8) Post is here. If anyone didn’t understand “connecting the dots” or is interested in “connecting the dots,” please go to page 5A and read Rosemary Haskell, “The Hoagie and Me.” Maybe it can help us all become A.W.A.R.E. All Working As Rowan Environmentalists.   No need to thank me. You’re welcome. Keep on Smilin’.

Whitey Harwood lives in Rowan County.

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