• 54°

Dr. Magryta: When your child wants to quit — what to do?

Dr. Magryta

I just read an excellent article written by Emma Walker. On the website For Every Mom, she tackles the issues of childhood defeatist attitudes and quitting. As a parent of a teenager and a tweenager, this hit home for me.
My wife and I often discuss the reality behind success and failure as it relates to self-defeatist attitudes and work ethic.
I am convinced and have been for a long time that some of the reasons for my successes were born in my youth. As a child, I was scrawny, petulant and annoying at times (or so I was told). I was the third child. Having to fight for air time at home, was the norm (hence the annoying moniker). I often had to outsmart, or so I thought, my much older dominant brother to make it all work. To believe in myself did not come easily. It was like Fight Club, with the deck stacked against you physically.
Luckily, my parents loved and supported all of my hare-brained ideas. And there were many. The house belief structure was that it was expected that you must follow through on a project, sport or job if you initiate it. There was no quitting until the prescribed end was met.
Boy did that suck as a child. It was really hard to stick it out when you disliked something, even when it was your idea to start in the first place.
In the Emma Walker article, there is a point where the parents in the story address a child that wants to quit a sport. The parents reflected on the situation and realized that quitting sends the wrong message — and if the child was to quit, at least they were responsible for talking directly with the coach about what she could have done better on the team and what else she could have gleaned from the experience before quitting.
This is a reasonable request. It sets the child up to succeed by dealing with a difficult situation personally and seeing it through.
For the rest of the story, see the link below. It is better for you to read it than get my paraphrased version.
Suffice it to say that the end result is beautiful and fulfills every aspect of the “hard work pays off” mantra.
Make the hard choice by expecting your child to finish anything that they start. Love them through it. Help them if necessary. But above all, let them struggle to succeed with the knowledge that you are there if they crumble.

Love and logic makes sense,

Dr. M

Dr. Chris Magryta is a physician at Salisbury Pediatric Associates. Contact him at newsletter@salisburypediatrics.com

The Emma Walker article: https://foreverymom.com/family-parenting/when-your-child-is-ready-to-quit-emma-walker/

About Post Lifestyles

Visit us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SalPostLifestyle/ and Twitter @postlifestlyes for more content

email author More by Post

Comments

Local

City gives away nearly 100 trees during ‘We Dig Salisbury’ event

Local

Political Notebook: Bitzer expects most ‘Trump-like’ candidate to be favorite in state’s Senate race

Crime

Blotter: Concord man arrested in Rowan for indecent liberties with children

Coronavirus

Half of US adults have received at least one COVID-19 shot

Nation/World

Police: FedEx shooter legally bought guns used in shooting

News

Hester Ford, oldest living American, dies at 115 … or 116?

Local

Size of pipeline spill again underestimated in North Carolina

BREAKING NEWS

Kannapolis Police searching for suspect who fled scene of homicide

Education

RSS superintendent talks district’s future, strategic plan survey

News

Complaints and fines pile up against unpermitted landfill in southwest Rowan County

College

Catawba baseball: Crowd comes out to say goodbye to Newman Park

Lifestyle

History is a great teacher: Farming has helped shape Rowan County

Business

‘A safe place for them’: Timeless Wigs and Marvelous Things celebrates fifth anniversary

China Grove

County will hear request for more tree houses, hobbit-style homes in China Grove

Coronavirus

Livingstone College partners with Health Department to administer 500 Pfizer vaccinations

Education

‘Elite and it shows’: Staff at Partners in Learning at Novant celebrate news of national accreditation

Business

Biz Roundup: Food Lion earns Energy Star award for 20th consecutive year

Columns

Ester Marsh: What body type are you?

Nation/World

The queen says goodbye to Philip, continues her reign alone

Nation/World

Worldwide COVID-19 death toll tops a staggering 3 million

Nation/World

US, China agree to cooperate on climate crisis with urgency

Nation/World

Sikh community calls for gun reforms after FedEx shooting

High School

North Rowan romps into second round of football playoffs

Nation/World

FBI had interviewed former FedEx employee who killed eight