I recall my first day of second grade. We had recently moved and I started a new school. I walked into a classroom of kids, all clucking like chickens with a fox in their henhouse, waiting for a teacher to show up and shoot the fox. I took a seat, put my head down and got to work.

Then a girl came over and sat on my desk, covering my paper.

“Whachadoin’?” she said.

“Practicing my numbers.”

“Is that all you can do?”

“No,” I said, “it’s not.”

I got up to sharpen my pencil. The desk flipped and broke her nose. She became my best friend and never let me forget how we met.

School starts soon for children around the country, including five of our six grandchildren. The first day of school should be celebrated, so my husband and I gave the kids a few small gifts, shoes or pants or a backpack.

But most of what children truly need for school can’t be bought. Years ago, in another column, I listed 20 things kids need for school. I am often asked (thank you) to repeat that list. Here it is:

1. A No. 2 pencil and a willingness to erase.

2. A healthy respect for themselves and for others, especially their teachers.

3. An awareness that the world does not revolve around them and they alone are responsible for their actions.

4. Parents and grandparents who teach by example a love for reading, learning and life.

5. An assurance that school is a good, safe place; their teachers will like them; and their parents won’t leave town without them.

6. A clear understanding that school is their “job” and no one else can or will do it for them.

7. A system for exchanging communication between school and home; a backpack for notes that need to be signed; an emergency phone number that always answers; a quiet place and consistent time to do homework; a daily chance to read aloud and to be read to.

8. A plan for getting to and from school safely and on time.

9. A pet to care for, clean up after and come home to.

10. A public library card and regular chances to use it.

11. Someone to welcome them home, laugh at their jokes, answer questions and listen to what they say and don’t say.

12. The power of how it feels to help others less fortunate.

13. The encouragement to try new things; the freedom to fail; and the chance to try again.

14. The gifts of being well fed, well rested, well mannered, and well covered for medical, dental and after-school care.

15. The confidence to deal with bullies (stand up straight, look them in the eye, don’t start a fight, but don’t back down); to ask questions (raise your hand and wait to be called on); and to never stop asking “why?”

16. To feel they’re best (or very good) at something, and it’s OK not to be good at everything.

17. To spend more time with humans than with machines.

18. To have nothing to do once in a while but daydream.

19. To know school won’t last forever, but learning is lifelong.

20. Most of all, they need someone to love them; to make them do their homework and brush their teeth; to tuck them in at night and beam at them each morning; and someone to pray for them and their friends, their teachers and their schools.

I wanted all those things for my children. I want them now for my grandchildren, and for all children, yours and mine.

I hope you want them, too.

They are gifts that can’t be bought. But together, God willing, we can give them.

Sharon Randall can be reached at P.O. Box 416, Pacific Grove, CA 93950.