Remember when televisions were deeper than they were wide? We still use one of those. Even our spare smaller one in the library* is about the size of a VW bus. I realized our main TV is not as sharp as it used to be when I became prematurely joyful over the Braves’ big lead in early innings. But alas. They were not actually up by eight. Upon further review the eight was a zero.

Thankfully our television is not equipped with that pesky surround sound. For one of my favorite Sunday afternoon activities is a NASCAR nap. Surround sound could certainly hinder that pleasantry and seriously impede my mood for days. Nobody wants to get caught in that ten car pile-up.

My sweetheart is a multi-tasking television watcher. One of his best talents involves the skillful handling of the remote. Rarely do we see an entire commercial. He’s capable of keeping up with the Braves, finding a great little diner with Guy, and counseling a couple as they choose a home in Hawaii. What a man! With Windex in hand he occasionally removes a layer of grime from the screen thus making our old T.V. high definition.**

He got ambitious and ordered a new study series for our Life Group. Then we realized our television is too ancient to play the accompanying DVD. It probably has something to do with the deep to wide ratio.

David is also very good at stopping to watch the commercials that make me laugh. Currently it’s the couple who have the dancing accident while Bill Medley sings “I had the time of my life…” Just as the husband turns his head, his wife gets brave and leaps into his unexpecting arms. After crashing to the floor, they consult their doctor online. The wife confesses, “I came in too hot.” Apparently this was another example of misjudging the deep to wide ratio. That happens at our house all the time.

I remember being so happy when we purchased our television because it replaced the ginormous console. We stuck the new one on the top of the old set for about a year. It was a great design choice and I cherished it daily. Of course I covered the console with a lovely fabric.*** One day my sweet husband surprised me with an entertainment center. It fit perfectly in the corner and took up less space than the television totem pole theme we were developing. Plus it had room for the VCR and tons of tapes. Later we added a DVD player which stacked nicely on top of the VCR. Throw in a cable box or two and once again we achieved a great look. Even now David loves squeezing his giant man arms behind that hefty corner cabinet. Standing on his head trying to figure out the right wires in order to hook up the preferred system is always his favorite.

If perhaps one day a flat screen TV came to be a part of our family I don’t know what we’d do. I don’t think they make a corner model. There would be no place to put the dried hydrangeas which have found a home atop the TV cabinet for at least a decade.****Where would we stack our plethora of video equipment? What would we do with all those tapes? One should not toss out Bruce Willis, Denzel Washington, and Sam Elliot all willy-nilly.

So for now I’m perfectly content that our television is deeper than it is wide.

Oh to be so lucky!

*Full disclosure: Library is a term I use loosely in reference to the room in our house just large enough for one chair and a bookshelf. This term is not meant to imply sophistication on any level but was chosen simply because it sounded better than “study” which would be a complete misrepresentation.

** Actually that was a little stretch. We never buy real Windex.

*** In an effort to maintain complete honesty I must insert that the old sheet was not that lovely.

**** Science project anyone?