I’ve had a lot of thinking to do while sitting in my beautiful yard on some days of low humidity and nice breezes. Age has not been kind to me and I have to prepare for changes once more. Some changes can be gentle and pleasant like the blowing of the leaves; others will be more like the thunder and lightning in these afternoon storms. How I accept the changes will be the defining factor in my state of mind.
Five years ago, I had an emotional need to get out more than one day a week on the RITA van. Against the advice of others, I bought a handicapped conversion van. Due to the cost of financing, insurance, gas and upkeep, I was advised that I would be unable to afford a conversion van. But I took that chance so I could travel once again as a speaker for Christian Women’s Club
I started back to church, traveled to speak when called, and made a trip to the ocean I dearly love. I visited friends who were unable to visit me and enjoyed eating in so many of the new restaurants that have settled in Salisbury. But during 2013, I was in and out of the hospital and the Lutheran Home twice for five weeks both times. Transferring in and out of the van, as well as dressing to go out, continues to become more daunting than is worthwhile. It is getting very difficult for me to put my earrings in or to fasten my favorite watch.
Now I can no longer make the payments and have made the decision to quit driving once again. Everyone has been so disheartened to hear that the van will soon be gone and many ask what I will do then. My reply has been: “I will do the same thing I have done in the past — stay home!” I will probably miss going out to eat most of all, but I already have family and friends volunteering to bring food, pick up medication, and about anything else that I might need.
Doctor appointments and other errands will be scheduled on the one day of the week when the RITA van service comes to Woodleaf. Just as in my first book, “My Sanctuary,” my home has become my sanctuary where God has touched me with the sermons of the televangelists. Friends and family come and go. I rarely allow myself to get lonely as God is always with me. Boredom is not in my vocabulary. Sometimes I question why these changes occur, but I realized a long time ago that contrary to the old adage that “some things never change“… in today’s world “some things never stay the same.” This is about the fifth time in my life that for one reason or another, I have had to quit driving (different health issues each time.)
One thing that is making it easier this time is that I have come to realize that I am “no longer of this world.” True, I did finally become more accepting of this computer, but there is so much technology that is over and beyond my frame of mind. I know that multiple sclerosis has affected my ability to learn and retain new knowledge like I once did, but I also know that some of what is in this world today belongs to another generation and does not interest me.
I pray a lot and talk to God probably more than to other people. When the cold winds of winter blow in, I will be happy to cuddle up in front of my gas logs, heat a bowl of soup, and occasionally drink a cup of hot chocolate.
Most of you probably don’t want to be so much like a hermit, but please don’t feel sorry for me. This world is temporary and is not “my permanent home.” Our country is filled with so much sorrow and turmoil these days. Social injustice was bad enough before it became entertainment on the internet. Depression, anger, bitterness and illnesses have created so much strife in the world these days. Rudeness and lack of manners disturbs me when I am out in public.
There was a period of time when I would have (and did) fight for “the principal of the thing.” My friend, the other Linda, and I agreed that The Serenity Prayer would be a good ending for this article: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Linda still needs greeting cards to recycle for the soldiers. Call her at 704-278-9355 or email lindainthecards@gmail.com