McLeod column: Making resolutions stick
Published 12:00 am Thursday, January 13, 2011
By Lisa Earle McLeod
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Eighty percent of New Yearís resolutions fail by January 20th.
Iíve got a great track record for keeping my resolutions. In fact, Iíve lost 10 pounds about 15 times.
The problem is itís the same 10 pounds. I get motivated to take it off, but like many, I struggle to keep it off.
No, this isnít going to be an article about weight loss. Itís about how you can actually stick with your goals.
Oscar Wilde once wrote, ěA New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.î
The reason so many of us struggle to keep our resolutions is because of the way we think about them.
A resolution is, by definition, something you resolve to do, or in most cases, something you resolve not to do. (Eat, drink, spend, scream, etc.)
But if you resolve to quit smoking or get out of debt (two resolutions consistently on the top 10 list), you don’t allow yourself much room for error. If you succumb to the siren call of nicotine or a half-off sale, you feel like you failed. Next thing you know youíve puffed your way through a carton of Marlboros and put three Fendi bags on your VISA.
Youíll have more success in reaching your goals if, instead of making hard and fast resolutions, you take a page from the business playbook and establish some best practices.
Resolutions are rules, and theyíre usually about what you donít want. Like, Iím not going to scream at my kids.
Best practices, on the other hand, are the behaviors and habits you want to cultivate, and you donít always have to hit 100 percent to be effective. For example, Iím going to be an attentive, calm parent who looks her kids in the eyes and listens when they speak.
If you can do that even 70 percent of the time, it will have a major impact on your life.
Going back to the cigs and the credit cards, if youíre a heavy user of either, the thought of going cold turkey for the rest of your life might give you the cold shakes.
However, if you establish a best practice like, ěIím going chew gum when I want to smoke,î or, ěWhen I start thumbing through catalogs, Iím going to take a bath or call my best friend,î youíll increase your odds of success.
Short-term slip-ups are just that, slip-ups. You havenít broken a rule or resolution; youíve simply forgotten to follow your own best practice. You can get back on the no smoking, no spending, no yelling, eat healthy wagon tomorrow.
Thereís a reason Alcoholics Anonymous suggests that members take it one day at a time. It’s easier to think about not drinking today than it is not drinking forever.
When you think about your goals as a best practices, you don’t have to aim for perfection; just do the best you can every day.
For the record, last year instead of resolving to lose 10 pounds, I established a best practice of exercising five times a week.
Did I do it every week? No, but I hit about 80 percent. By the time summer rolled around, it wasn’t a goal anymore; it was a habit.
Thereís no point in making resolutions youíre going to abandon.
Establish some smart best practices for yourself, and you can get your life moving in the direction you want it to go.
Lisa Earle McLeod is an author, columnist, keynote speaker and business consultant. She is the President of McLeod & More, Inc., an international training firm specializing in sales, leadership, and customer/consumer engagement. Her newest book, The Triangle of Truth, has been cited as the blueprint for “how smart people can get better at everything.” Visit www.TriangleofTruth.com for a short video intro.