Salisbury Post Online:  Local news, weather, sports and more!
Serving historic Rowan County, North Carolina since 1905.

Longtime 4-H volunteer Ruby Martin loves watching children develop into adults and says that her time is best spent helping others

BY KATHY CHAFFIN
SALISBURY POST

That’s how long she has been a volunteer leader. “I didn’t ever think I’d stay in it this long,” Ruby says.

The problem was, she’d get attached to one group, and she wouldn’t quit until they had aged out. By that time, she would already be attached to the next group. And so it went.

At 80, Ruby says she is going to remain a leader for as long as her health holds out. “This is going to be one of the last things I give up,” she says. “Sometimes, I think my mind won’t work as well as it used to, but kids can overlook it if you can’t think of something.”

Ruby’s daughter, her only child, was in college when she read in the newspaper that the state Cooperative Extension Service in Rowan County was looking for a volunteer for a 4-H group at the Bostian Heights Volunteer Fire Department.

Though she was working at Cannon Mills Plant No. 1, Ruby had always enjoyed working with children, having taught Sunday school and helped with Bible school at Ebenezer Lutheran Church for years. She signed up as a volunteer for the club and has been working with 4-H’ers ever since.

This spring, in honor of her 35 years of service, the Rowan County 4-H Council named a new annual award for outstanding youth volunteer after Ruby.

“She’s just the ideal of what a volunteer should be,” says Bobbi Williams, 4-H agent for the county. “Because of her commitment to young people, we decided not to name it a volunteer award, but a youth volunteer award.”

In announcing the award, the council presented Ruby with a framed limited edition print by North Carolina artist and former 4-H’er Richard Tumbleston. The print, titled “Hands of Service,” features the weathered hands of a quilter.

Ruby put the print in her living room over the fireplace.

Williams says Ruby is very modest about what she does.“But she has just been so giving to us we thought it was an appropriate thing to do,” she says. “The kids really respect and look up to her.”

Ruby, who was selected for inclusion in the North Carolina 4-H Volunteer Hall of Fame in 1988, says she believes more people would like to volunteer, but just don’t have the time. That’s why it’s so important for the ones who do have time.

“I feel like every child needs somebody besides their parents to say, ‘Gee, you’ve done a good job,’ ” she says.

Working with 4-H’ers helps keep Ruby youthful.

“Something about youth, it sparks me up and makes me go,” she says. “They’re real attentive. They do what you ask them to most of the time. It’s just a pleasure working with them.”

When she hears people say kids today “are going to the dogs,” Ruby always speaks up. “You just don’t know the ones I know,” she tells them. “They’re good kids.”

The best thing about 4-H is it helps prepare children to become adults.

“It’s a big world,” she says. “They’re going to have a lot of things to face, and they need to know how to do it.”

Helping young people to develop leadership skills is one way 4-H prepares them for adulthood.

“Ithink that’s the most important thing,” Ruby says, “and it helps them to be better citizens. It trains them to work because they have to work for the awards. It teaches them to care for others.”

As one of her club’s annual activities, the group does a project for the China Grove Retirement Center, whether it’s putting up a Christmas tree and decorating it or giving the residents handcrafted suncatchers for their windows. Members also use part of their winnings in club competitions to buy school supplies for the needy.

Speaking and presentation skills are developed in annual competitions on the club, county, district, state and even national levels. An annual Fashion Revue helps students develop their sewing skills, while a talent show gives them a chance to perform.

“If they need help in sewing, I’ve given lots and lots of hours teaching children to sew,” Ruby says.

The 4-H’ers also choose from projects ranging from livestock to photography for their annual competition. “They have to keep records,” she says. “If you go anywhere in 4-H, you’ve got to keep records.”

Parental involvement is also important in 4-H. Though the club meets monthly, Ruby says most of the work is done at home. “We’ve got some real supportive parents,” she says.

The 11 students in the China Grove 4-H Club meet at Ruby’s house on North Main Street, where it’s more convenient for cooking projects. “I’ve got my stuff here. If I need something, I can get it.”

Meetings are either held around the kitchen table or in the living room. “People say, ‘You let them have your living room?’

“I say, ‘That’s living.’ I’m not a society person.”

Ruby also meets monthly with Williams and the Rowan County 4-H Council, which consists of leaders and members of the clubs. She is also a member of the 4-H Parent Alumni Leaders Association, which meets eight times a year.

Staying busy with 4-H helped Ruby cope with losing her husband in a tractor accident in 1970.

“There’s no such thing as sitting and crying because it doesn’t change anything,” she says. “I learned a long time ago you just have to turn loose and go on.”

Indeed, Ruby’s first husband was killed in World War II when their daughter was only 2. Ruby went to work and raised Theresa as a single mother before remarrying when she was a teen-ager.

“I’ve learned just to live one day at a time,” she says. “Don’t look back. Don’t live too much in the future. Today is really the only day we’ve got.”

When Ruby married Harold Martin in 1973, they were working different shifts at the mill. Since neither one wanted to change shifts, he suggested that she just go ahead and quit.

She did, freeing up even more time for her volunteer work.“If you’re not rich by that time, you may as well just ease up and take it easy,” she says.

Her community involvement was one reason Ruby was chosen to represent 4-H at the Volunteer Fair this past week at Livingstone College. Though Ruby won’t talk about all she does, Williams says she is also involved in the Extension Homemakers, Dial Help, Community Resource Networking, Rowan Helping Ministries, the American Heart Association and Information and Referral.

Working with 4-H all these years has left Ruby with a lot of memories. She recalls one 4-H’er who had his picture taken for the South Rowan Times while working on a cooking project in an apron and chef’s hat. When the paper came out, “His dad said, ‘Don’t you never do that again,’ ” she says.

And Ruby says she will never forget the way the 4-H’ers scrambled out of the creek at Sloan Park when they spotted a baby snake in the water. “They came out of the water like lightning, climbing over each other to get out. It was sort of funny.”

This is the first year the club has not been on a summer outing. “It seems like everybody was so busy,” she says.

When she’s not working with 4-H’ers, Ruby likes to garden and sew. She grew the red roses displayed in a vase on her kitchen table, and the ferns and flowers on her breezeway reflect her green thumb.

She keeps her great-grandson, Lucas Safrit, who will turn 4 next month, on Fridays. Lucas loves to stay with Ruby so he can watch the train that runs parallel with North Main.

“He plays with trains all the time,” she says. “Whatever he’s playing with, he makes a train out of it.”

Lucas is the son of her grandson, Lewis Safrit of Rowan County, who also has two stepdaughters, Lyndsay and Kelly Loman.

Ruby’s other grandson, Lewis’ brother, Greg Safrit, also lives in Rowan County. Their mother, Theresa Lyerly Safrit, lives in Rocky Mount.

Born in the Ebenezer community, Ruby was the next to the youngest of 11 children born to Bessie and Charlie Ketner of the Ebenezer community.

“My parents were old when Iwas born,” she says.“People had children as long as they could then. There were some of them already married when I came along.”

Like the rest of her siblings, Ruby grew up working on the family farm.

“We really had to work hard, but it didn’t hurt us none,” she says.

“People today don’t have to work as hard, but in a way, they have it worse. They have a lot more pressure, tension.” Ruby worries that children have too much pressure on them as well.

“That’s one of my big peeves about now,” she says. “They can’t do everything. They’re so busy, I don’t know how they have time to dream.

“Remember how you used to dream.”