It happens every year once the first few weeks of school end. The “school shoes”
you shelled out 50 bucks for look like they’ve been dunked in dirty dishwater. Your
kids say they need new jeans because the ones they picked out aren’t “cool”
this year. And, much to your dismay, they’re already complaining about homework,
teachers and tests. So, besides going
bankrupt on bribes that don’t work, how can you encourage the kids to have positive
attitudes about hitting the books?
The National Education Association (NEA)
recommends first checking to see if your child’s school has an incentive program in
place.
Carolyn Barker, academic enrichment coordinator at
North Rowan High School, is working with student volunteers to create a reward program.
“We personally believe if we can foster a
positive attitude, together areas including academic performance, will improve in the
process,” Barker explains. “Our motto is going to be ‘Keeping our Attitudes
on Track,’ because it reflects the history of the Spencer area and our goals.”
The program will seek out students who are doing
the “right thing,” identify their good behavior and reward them. The specifics
are still under wraps as the program takes shape.
Parents’ attitudes
Barker says, “Too often there is an attitude
of us against them... it’s as if the school is in some way competing with the home.
Our desire is for all of us to be one community. We have to work together in the best
interest of the student.”
Lyn Wilson, school counselor at Isenberg
Elementary School, says parents can affect a drastic change in their kids’ attitudes
by simply setting a positive example.
Wilson says she’s battled the school blahs
with students at Isenberg and her own three children. “I’ve learned that above
all, parents’ attitudes are paramount to how the child feels about school.”
Wilson suggests that parents make time for school
within the normal family routine, while making sure to include “down time.”
“Parents need to let their child know that
school and school work are a priority,” Wilson
says. “Parents can help by making it the child’s ‘job’ to do their
best each day and keep up with their work. Hold the kids to those expectations. And,
school and home should work together.”
Wilson recommends putting important school events
and due dates on the family calendar. This will create opportunities to discuss school at
home in a “safe, comfortable,” environment,
Wilson says.
The NEA says creating a “study place” at home can also boost a child’s attitude and
performance. Provide the necessary tools “to do the job” including a dictionary,
comfortable seating and clear desk space, good lighting and writing materials. Kids need a
quiet workspace just as much as parents do.
Communication is another key.
“Find a time every day to ask about how their
day went,” Wilson says. “Keep up with things
like signing their daily homework pad, looking over their homework and classwork. That
will show them that you are interested.”
Talking is only part of the battle, Wilson says.
Parents must get involved in school activities, too.
“Whether it’s Open House, school events
like class parties, PTA meetings, coming to have lunch with your child, coming to awards
presentations ... all these things tell your kids that you care. If you can’t
actually show up, offer to supply treats or materials so your child still feels like
you’re involved.”
NEA studies have shown that children with parents
who attend PTA meetings and school functions usually realize their full potential and
exceed academic expectations.
“Praise and encourage the child for even the
smallest accomplishments,” Wilson
says. Kids who feel confident and appreciated do better in school.
And, if these approaches don’t work,
don’t be afraid to solicit help from your child’s teacher or guidance counselor.
“Listen to the child but also be open to the other side of the story. You may just
need some clarification from the teacher to work an issue out.”
‘Continuous learning’
Engaging kids in non-traditional educational
activities can also help raise children’s spirits about learning, the NEA reports.
“Take your kids to cultural events and to the
library,” Wilson suggests. Have books around and
available at all times. Look over a newspaper and read the positive, age-appropriate
articles together. Younger kids will love discussing the pictures.”
Wilson says Rowan County is a great place to
conduct “continuous learning.”
“Locally, we have Waterworks, the Rowan
Museum, historical tours, church social and historical events, a great library, Piedmont
Players ...” Wilson recommends that parents contact the United Arts Council on South
Main Street for a list of upcoming events for kids.
What parents can do to help
1. Concentrate on what your child likes about
school. Likes can include physical education, recess and other children. Find ways to
value what your child likes. Build on the positives.
2. Listen carefully to what your child says about
school. Even if your child views school
negatively, you can be supportive by listening. Empathize and validate what your child
says, even if you disagree. This promotes understanding.
3. Don’t try to fix it. By handling the
problem for your child, you keep her from learning how to handle it. Be a resource, and a
guide but not a savior.
4. Help your child develop positive beliefs about
school. Instead of the limiting belief that “school is hard,” suggest the positive belief, “I can
improve,” or “I
can get help.”
5. Identify resources your child can use. To
encourage your child’s “I can get help” belief, explore people, books, materials, computers that will assist learning.
6. Share your experiences and outlook on school.
Offer examples of your successes and failures in school. Be candid without going into the
lecturing mode. Relate your experience to your child’s, being sensitive to your
child’s strengths and weaknesses.
7. Help your child schedule time for activities.
Buy an organizer notebook for school assignments. Set a homework and bedtime schedule to
allow time for work and play.
8. Find ways to appreciate your child, regardless
of school performance. School competence is only one aspect of life. And as you see your
whole child, more of his or her competence can be valued, perhaps in unrecognized and
subtle ways.
n
From Phillip Mountrose,
“Tips and Tools for Getting Thru to Kids.” Mountrose has been an educator for 20
years and is also the author of “Tips and Tools for Getting Thru to Kids.” |
Lifestyle