An Innes Street fish tale

I was down there at the feed store in China Grove when I overheard these two old boys saying "crappie, crappie, crappie." I sidled up a bit and overheard enough to know there must be a new lake up there near Salisbury.

So, I paid up right quick and headed home to get the rod and boat.

I knew the lake had to be close, 'cause every now and then, those boys would say somethin' like "lake Innes or fish quick while it lasts." So, I figure, since Innes is a street, this lake might be right near there.

Well, I got to that there Innes Street exit, and by gum, she was closed down. But I drove on over the bridge, and there it was with the sun glistening off it like a diamond. Dang if Salisbury hadn't upped Lake Norman and put in a beaut of its own.

I go on up to the next exit and cruise back through Salisbury thinking I'll put in and then park over in the Walmart lot since it's close by and they got plenty of parkin'.

I got down close and danged if the big old glob of cops wouldn't let me back down near it, much less put it. So here it is a nice sunny but a little windy day, and I can't even go out and cast a little.

I was mad as a wet hen 'cause I knew them crappie was just out there awaitin' to flop in my boat.

I went to plan B. But I just had to give one of the cops a jab, so I says, "Well, I reckon you can't stop me from throwin' in a line off that there bridge. "

See, plan B was to go up on the bridge and cast a little. So, he says, all sassy, "no, but he can," pointin' over my shoulder.

Well, there was this mountain dressed in a Highway Patrol uniform who added just two words to the conversation: "I wouldn't."

So, off to the Walmart I went anyway, and I parked with my boat still attached. I went in and headed straight back to the malt beverage place. Wouldn't you know it, the same danged two old boys I seen down there at the feed store was back there, too.

I just had to ask one of them, "Hey, I heard you two fellas talking crappie fishin' down there at the feed store in China Grove. Where 'bouts is that lake anyways?"

Well, they was laughing so hard, I think the manager fella thought they'd already sampled some of them malt beverages. Finally, one said, "You're about as dumb as dirt. We were saying the crappy engineering by the DOT turns Innes Street into a lake every time a good storm comes through."

I was feelin' pretty low about that until I noticed the malt beverage he was holdin' had fell out of his hand during one of his fits of laughter and the top had busted open. And, sure enough, the manager had called in the troops, 'cause right there over Mr. HaHa's shoulder was the aforementioned highway petroleum.

So, as they took Mr. HaHa off for having an open beer in public, I had my own little laugh ...

But seriously, folks, the moral of this rather wandering story is get with your representatives and tell them how elated you are with tax money spent by the DOT to create a very unwanted lake right in the middle of Salisbury.

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Along with enjoying a good fish story, Rowan County resident A.J. Moore is a fan of Mark Twain, Rod Serling and old Fords.