Surrogate mom to deliver twins for Spencer couple

Thursday, October 01, 2009 9:54 AM  |  Printer friendly version | E-mail to a friend |

By Susan Shinn

For The Salisbury Post

SPENCER — Debbie Beck laughs when she tells about going to an obstetrician's appointment with Misty Smith.

"Are you her mother?" the nurse asked.

"No, I'm their mother," Debbie said, pointing to Misty's growing belly.

On Nov. 19 — probably earlier — Misty will deliver twins for Debbie and her husband, Justin.

There are two kinds of surrogate mothers. A traditional surrogate carries an embryo made from her egg and the biological father's sperm. The second is a gestational surrogate, who carries an embryo made from the biological mother's egg and the biological father's sperm.

Misty, 25, is a gestational surrogate for the Becks.

Misty's husband, Raymond, 38, and Justin went to North Rowan High School together.

"They knew what we've been going through the last seven years," says Justin of the the couple's struggle with infertility.

Justin and Raymond were talking on the phone one day when Justin joked, "Know any good surrogates?"

Misty overheard the conversation.

"Sure," she said. "I'll do it."

Justin, 37, and Debbie, 34, felt like Misty was their last chance at having a baby of their own.

"We can't have children," Justin says. "We tried in vitro."

In vitro fertilization costs more than $10,000 per attempt, and is not covered by insurance. Debbie and Justin tried, without success, almost a half-dozen times.

"We mortgaged the house, we maxed out our credit cards, we borrowed money from family," Justin says.

Then Misty said yes.

She had just finished her 6-week postpartum check-up with her daughter, Lexi, now 2, when Justin mentioned surrogacy to Raymond.

"I had told Raymond it would be really cool to be a surrogate," Misty says. "I was in foster care and I was adopted, and I wanted to do something where I could give back. To give a child life is the biggest thing I know of."

Misty and Raymond also have a son, Mason, 3, and Raymond has two older sons from his first marriage.

"We decided we could go ahead and do it," Misty says.

She'd had no problems with her other two pregnancies. She thought a third pregnancy would be a breeze.

At 31 weeks, she's getting uncomfortable and not sleeping well, and she's had two close calls with the babies.

She admits it's quite different carrying babies for someone else.

"You have to detach yourself immediately," Misty says. "That's probably what has made the pregnancy so difficult."

After helping the Becks start their family, Misty knows her family is now complete.

"We have been married almost five years and I've been pregnant most of that time," she says. "This is the end. No more. It's different when they're not yours. It takes a little bit of the glow away."

Misty has been on bed rest for the past four weeks, and the Becks have hired someone during the day to help with her children. They're also paying her insurance and other expenses, as well as providing the stay-at-home mom with an income during the pregnancy.

"We're offering her counseling after the pregnancy if she needs it," Debbie says.

"Our goal is to make sure she's OK afterward," Justin adds.

He still feels like the whole experience is too good to be true. When Misty said yes, they both said, "Are you sure? Really?"

Misty was resolute.

"Once I had said, 'I'll do it,' that was it," she says.

The two couples signed a legal contract, a real milestone in the process.

Like Debbie, Misty had to undergo the in vitro procedure.

Both women agree that it was "not pleasant."

It didn't work the first time for Misty.

The couple finally thought their chances had run out.

"It had been a very trying time for us," Justin says. "Not only did we think we'd lost our chance, we'd lost our angel."

Justin had gotten to the point that he couldn't drive through Spencer when Thomas the Tank was in town.

But Misty agreed to try again.

"We got two really good embryos, and a very healthy surrogate," Debbie says.

Justin and Debbie's daughter will be named Anna Glen. She will share her middle name with Justin and his dad.

Their son will be named William Christopher. Will shares his first name with Debbie's dad. His middle name is for Justin's late stepbrother.

Misty has been invited to Debbie's baby showers — although the babies chose not to attend the one on Sunday. Misty was having contractions and had to go to the hospital, but the contractions were stopped.

If Misty makes it to 36 weeks, the babies will be delivered at Rowan Regional Medical Center. If they come earlier, they'll go to Presbyterian Hospital in Charlotte.

Both couples will be in attendance for the births.

The surrogacy has been a first for Rowan Regional, the OB-GYN clinic, the Becks' fertility clinic and their attorney.

"We're paving the way for everybody," Justin says.

Debbie, a fifth-grade teacher at Faith Elementary School, has told her students that she's having twins, but has left the explanation to the parents.

Her students, she says, know that she's waiting on a call.

It's taken a while for Misty's family to come around to the surrogacy. Understandably, it was difficult for them.

But now everyone just wants Misty and the babies to be OK.

Debbie and Misty talk a few times a week.

"Some days you really want to talk and some days you don't," Misty says.

Through it all, she has been modest about her role.

"This was our last chance," Justin says. "This girl will not take credit."

"She is a godsend," Debbie says.

"I didn't do it for people to tell me how great I am," Misty says. "Don't do that."

"But she really saved my life," Justin says.

"She's saving both our lives," Debbie adds.

Freelance writer Susan Shinn lives in Salisbury.