Ford column: Learning to surrender

Surrendering to your baby isn't easy, but my youngest sister already has it figured out.

It took me three kids to finally understand that it's useless to fight the 6-pound behemoth that has taken over your life, your home, your wardrobe. That for the next few months, the tiniest of persons will dictate when you eat, how much you sleep, even whether you move.

And that it's ok.

My sister Laura has embraced motherhood with grace and wisdom. She knows Lola Pearl is the boss for now, and she's fine with that, yielding to the primal rhythm of life with a baby.

Thanks to a supportive and understanding husband, I recently spent a week in Portland, Ore., helping my sister and brother-in-law and getting to know my new niece.

For seven days, my world revolved around my sister and her baby, and I loved it.

Those early weeks with a newborn are so surreal, passing in a blur when the only thing you feel more strongly than the need for sleep is the love for your new baby.

Every decision takes the baby into account. Every eye in the room is drawn to her. Every whimper, wail and sigh are noticed, discussed, assessed.

Like the song from the musical Damn Yankees, whatever Lola wants, Lola gets.

I cherished watching Laura fall head over heels for Lola, seeing her overwhelmed with the simple desire to just stare at this fascinating, beautiful and sometimes difficult creature.

Just stare and stare.

Late one night, Laura and I looked at each other with simultaneous shock.

"I can't believe you're a mother," I said.

"Neither can I."

Laura and her husband Josh live a minimalist lifestyle that lends itself well to focusing on a newborn.

They live in a 530-square-foot home, which is designed so well it feels surprisingly spacious. They have one car but mostly ride their bikes to work.

They recycle almost everything.

Together, they've learned how to diaper and dress and bathe and comfort Lola, discovering techniques like standing right next to a staticky stereo speaker or doing deep knee bends while holding her.

It seems the sillier the adult looks, the happier she is.

I had the chance to explore a small section of Portland each day while walking with Lola, searching out wireless internet service or taking an early morning run. Friendly, funky people everywhere gave the city a wonderful feeling of optimism and forward movement.

I took a rejuvenating class at Exhale Yoga but left thinking the studio should be named for the other side of the breath. All I wanted to do was inhale my experience in Portland, with my sister and little Lola.

Knowing that I will return in April, I left without tears and with profound gratitude that I'd had the opportunity to share such a brief, unique moment in time, when a baby sets the rules and the adults must learn to surrender.

Contact Emily Ford at eford@salisburypost.com.