Families who have lost loved ones find support from each other

Tom Barber, guitar, Dr. Clyde Young and his wife, Libby, perform during the Voices of Hope, a fundraiser that benefits the Michael Yang Foundation. This was the 8th year of the event. Photo by Shavonne Potts

Donnie Burgdoff, looks at pictures of his daughter, Patty, who died December 2006 in a vehicle accident. The Circle of Hope, a support group offered through the Michael Yang Foundation, has helped him cope with the loss of his youngest daughter. The Foundation held its annual fundraiser Sunday. Photo by Shavonne Potts

Steve Yang and his daughter listen as performers sing during the Voices of Hope concert, which benefits the Michael Yang Foundation. This is the 8th year of the fundraiser, which honors the memory of Yang's son, Michael, who died in 2001. Photo By Shavonne Potts

Lori Yang, speaks during the Voices of Hope concert that benefits the Michael Yang Foundation, which was started following the death of Lori and Steve Yang's 23-month-old son who died in 2001. Photo by Shavonne Potts/Salisbury Post

Bret Hammon, guitar, and Michael Hollingsworth, perform "Amazing Grace" during the Voices of Hope concert held on Sunday and that benefits the Michael Yang Foundation. The annual fundraiser was held at the Hurley YMCA because of the weather. Photo by Shavonne Potts/Salisbury Post

Groups of people gathered during the 8th annual Voices of Hope concert which raises money for the Michael Yang Foundation. The group will release white balloons in honor of someone who has died. Photo by Shavonne Potts/Salisbury Post

Dante Cataldo, left, John and Alex Yang, and Anthony Cataldo, sing "Your Grace is Enough" Sunday during the 8th annual Voices of Hope concert, which benefits the Michael Yang Foundation. This year's concert was held at the Hurley YMCA because of the weather. Photo by Shavonne Potts

Families release balloons into the air to honor a loved one who passed away as part of the 8th annual Voices of Hope concert that raises money for the Michael Yang Foundation. Photo by Shavonne Potts/Salisbury Post

By Shavonne Potts

spotts@salisburypost.com

Nearly 11 months ago, Mary Hewett's brother, Freddie Lee Hewett Jr., died. Her heart still aches for a brother she won't get to see again.

On Sunday, she was reminded she's not alone. Hewett, of Kannapolis, her mother, Pam Baker, and sister Elizabeth Jackson, attended Voices of Hope, a concert that raises money for the Michael Yang Foundation.

The foundation is named in honor of Lori and Steve Yang's son, Michael, who died just days shy of his second birthday.

The couple needed a place to grieve and wanted other families who'd lost loved ones to have a place to turn. They began the Circle of Hope, a grief support group, along with the foundation.

This weekend marked the foundation's eighth concert year. The concert is usually held at Library Park in Spencer, but Sunday the rain sent people inside the J.F. Hurley Family YMCA.

"We thank the community, especially the YMCA for use of their facility. We cannot do it without support of family, friends and the great community we live in," Steve Yang said.

The family had just talked about joining a support group when Baker read about the Michael Yang Foundation.

Freddie committed suicide in January.

"It helps us remember. It helps with our grief, and others can relate," Hewett said.

"Nobody judges you," Baker said.

Even when people think they should be beyond their grief, everyone in the room knows how they feel, Hewett said.

"The people who pass, we love. They are our brothers, sons and fathers," Hewett said.

Many local performers sang during the concert. That list included Bret Hammon, a West Virginia native, who was asked to participate by friend and mentor Michael Hollingsworth. The two performed "Amazing Grace."

"It's fantastic," he said of the concert.

"It provides hope in a hopeless situation," Hammon said.

Gail Eller comes to Voices of Hope each year to honor her two sons, Mack and Dan Eller.

In 1993, Mack, 37, was murdered. Dan Eller died of a sudden heart attack in 2007. He was 41.

Gail Eller's daughter, Janie Bryant, began attending the Circle of Hope support group meetings and encouraged her mother to attend with her.

Bryant lost her son, Curtis, in 2004 in a motorcycle accident.

"It means a lot to me," Eller said. "I miss them so much."

Bryant said the others who attend the support group are like another family.

"If you haven't lost a child, you have no clue," she said.

Bill Smith, co-founder of Circle of Hope, approached Bryant and encouraged her to attend.

The support group has counselors available to talk with families at no cost. The money raised during the concert funds those professional grief support services for parents who've lost a child.

"Thank you to Lori and Steve from the bottom of our hearts for going the extra mile," Bryant said.

She said she couldn't say thank you enough to the Yangs.

"It lets you know you are not here by yourself," said Debbie Gardner.

Gardner's son, Andrew, 19, died in a July 2008 motorcycle accident.

"It's a club you don't want to be a member of," she said.

Gardner said nonetheless, she is glad she is a part of the support group.

The group helps see her through the holidays and birthdays without her son.

"They helped me know what I was headed for," she said.

Not long after Donnie Burgdoff's daughter, Patty, died in a 2006 accident, he was contacted by Bill Smith to join the Circle of Hope support group. He and his family have attended meetings and supported the benefit concert for the Michael Yang Foundation.

"You're not alone," Donnie said.

"They have a real compassion, a real understanding," said Pat Burgdoff, Donnie's mother.

Patty, 8, was named after her grandmother, Pat. She died instantly when a drunken driver hit the car she was riding in.

"It's helped us. They become part of your family," Pat said.

"We've made a lot of friends," Donnie said.

Everyone who paid for admission was entered in a raffle, with prizes including a handmade quilt, a one-year YMCA membership, football tickets and gift cards.

Lori's grandmother, Dorothy "Dot" Honeycutt, made the quilt that was raffled.

She has made a quilt for the past three years.

"It brings him (Michael) back for her (Lori)," she said.

Honeycutt's husband died in July.

Also during the event, a slideshow of pictures of those who've died played and families were able to watch as their loved ones' faces flashed across the screen.

All the proceeds go to the foundation, which funds scholarships for youth to attend Kindermusik and Young Life summer camp and aid for college-bound students.

Kindermusik teaches children about music through dance, movement and musical instruments.

Young Life is a Christian camp with sites throughout the world.

The foundation added services for children who have lost parents or siblings.

The Circle of Hope support group meets the second Thursday of each month at its new location, 2290 Statesville Blvd., in a meeting room inside Yang Family Dentistry.

For more information about the Michael Yang Foundation, visit www.michaelyangfound.org, and for more information about Circle of Hope support group, call 704-603-4204.