We live in a world where the aging population is growing. We are an aging society. Yet it promotes youth, physical fitness and the like. At the same time, old people bear the brunt of many derogatory jokes. The reality is that life unfolds over time, and the process is called aging.

When we were young, our struggles revolved around trust and mistrust. We learned through those we trusted to be wary of those we don't know and should, therefore, not trust. So the process continued until we gained our own strengths, experience and knowledge. But mistrust never leaves us — particularly when we face the unknown.

When we arrived at adulthood, our struggles revolved around achievement and non-achievement. In adulthood — anyone over the age of 21 —we struggle to prove ourselves. We strive for accomplishments, power, prestige, control, wealth, success and security. In our world of today, that quest seems to dominate our existence.

Finally at retirement, our struggle is between integrity and despair. It is then that we need a transition to acceptance, redirection and introspection. In retirement, we can focus on discovering new ways to find meaning and fulfillment. There are retirement activities such as mentoring, grandparenting and reminiscing.

However, the problem is that older adults in retirement often continue to grab and hoard as opposed to share and give. And that is a question that we all need to ask ourselves, especially as we grow older: "Am I a grabber or a giver?"

It doesn't take much to recognize those people who never transition from being grabbers. The desire to acquire more of the world's goods and to use more of the worlds assets can become even more consuming. How sad it is when older people do not see their need to give back.

What then is the key to successful aging? It seems to me that it is the ability to accept one's limitations and finiteness. Also, it is the willingness to claim one's gifts but to be willing to share them as well. Think about someone you know who is a good example in sharing and caring. Is it not someone who has a pleasant countenance, a willingness to learn, a concern for others and a positive attitude?

Older people need to find ways to exercise their minds. Simply to retire to the couch of inactivity is the wrong choice. Something has to make older people think. If people don't think, it is most difficult for them to even try to contribute to the good of society.

Retirement is re-engagement with life. It requires a new attitude. Think of the wealth of knowledge that older people can share. Aging successfully is to find our identity in being ourselves and not simply doing for ourselves. It is in doing for others that we find the deepest meaning for ourselves.

What a joy it would be to have the Lord greet us at eternity's gate with the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant, you have been faithful over a little, I will set you over much." (Matt. 25:21)

It sometimes appears that a lot of people exist solely for the purpose of having a long obituary. How much better it would be if we all live to be remembered for who we are and not necessarily for all we may have accomplished.

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