Speaker: ‘Know fellow parents’

When Milton Creagh came to Salisbury to share how parents can prevent teen-agers from abusing drugs, he spoke little at all about marijuana or cocaine.

Speaking to a crowd of more than 100 people in the auditorium at Salisbury High School Monday night, not even once did he tell students, “Don’t do drugs.”

Instead, his message focused on cars, sneakers and dishwashers — and getting to know other parents.

“If I don’t know you, I don’t want my children at your house,” said Creagh, who grew up in Chicago, now lives in Atlanta and has raised four children, including two he adopted.

“If you care about kids in this town, you should start sharing information with one another.”

Creagh once gave a Baptist minister who lived next door to him the key to his house. Then he told his son he had given the neighbor a key and invited him to come over and enter anytime something looked suspicious.

Prompting laughter, Creagh spoke of some parents as “clueless wonders” — those who accept every story their children tell them as truth and say, “My child wouldn’t do that.”

“There are people all over whose job it is to help you get a clue,” he said, mentioning school counselors and police. “But you know what the problem is? Some of you don’t want a clue.”

Creagh shared a story about a father who gave his 17-year-old son and his son’s 16-year-old girlfriend beer and methamphetamine. The son died that night from an overdose.

“You want to know the No. 1 place where kids use drugs? It’s the home of a friend ... Get to know people and feel free to ask questions.”

But Creagh’s speech also lashed at America’s consumer culture.

Asking parents to first ensure their children can demonstrate maturity, accountability and dependability, Creagh said: “Just because you can afford it doesn’t mean your child needs it... Every child that turns 16 is not ready for a car.

“...Your child’s car does not have to be the most expensive car on the block. There’s something wrong when your snot-nosed child with no high-school diploma, no college degree and no full-time job is driving a nicer car than a grown adult with a high-school diploma, a college degree and a full-time job teaching your snot-nosed child.”

Creagh also cautioned creating a higher standard of living than children will be able to afford once they’re on their own.

“We have given our kids so much stuff that we have created such a high standard of living for them that when they get out of school on their own,” he said, “they’re not going to be able to afford that same standard of living.”

As young adults, they then fall deeply into debt by running up bills on credit cards. Often, they then come back home to get time to settle bills. The trouble is, the children extend their return.

“It’s embarrassing the amount of money we spend on kids.”

Today parents buy children toys and clothes throughout the calendar year; they once only made purchases before school began and at Christmas.

“If you give them everything they want, it is only natural that they won’t appreciate it.”

He said most children today have their own telephones, televisions and computers, which they use unsupervised.

Creagh even addressed household chores, arguing that children today have far fewer of them. “Washing dishes in 2001 is not the same as washing dishes in 1965.”

Allies for Substance Abuse Prevention (ASAP) invited Creagh to Salisbury to speak to students at Salisbury High and Knox Middle schools. Financed by the United Way, ASAP is a coalition of local law enforcement officials, health professionals, educators and other community leaders who want to stop Rowan County’s youth from abusing illegal substances.

Creagh, who visited Salisbury 10 years ago, has been a radio and television personality, a recording artist, actor, corporate trainer and entrepreneur. He is a former host of “Atlanta Teen Talk” and the national PBS series “Parenting Works.”

He has toured every state but Hawaii and in the past year has visited about 700 schools and spoken to 500,000 youths.

With plans to visit schools in Virginia, Kansas, California, Nevada and Indiana in the next two weeks, Creagh said: “I hate being on the road like this, but I want children to be in a world that’s safe.”

Creagh repeatedly emphasized that parents should communicate with one another.

“We’re not talking about something new. We’re talking about getting back to something we used to do.

“...What’s scary to me about America today...is that some of you live in communities where if a kid was about to commit suicide and their kid was not involved, they would not do anything,” said Creagh, who grew up in Chicago.

“It’s like see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.”

Contact Brad A. Hodges at 7047974266 or bhodges@salisburypost.com .