Charles Dabbs was losing the only family he had near him, his mother, to severe respiratory problems and wanted to make her last days comfortable and peaceful.
He didn’t want to put her in a nursing home or hospital and didn’t think hospice care would be appropriate for her illness because he, like many people, thought it is only for end-stage cancer victims. He also believed calling “would mean death.”
But when he finally did find the courage to contact Rowan Home Health and Hospice, Dabbs was not only satisfied with the treatment the Hospice staff gave his mother, but also amazed at the other countless services they offer.
“Then, when I became familiar with the organization, their concerns and complete dedication, I was amazed,”Dabbs said. “And I felt sure that there’s people like myself who have used the service, or anticipate using the service, who would like to do something in return.”
Dabbs wanted to volunteer but, according to the organization’s policy, family members of victims who have been under Hospice care cannot be official volunteers until they are a year away from their loss, said Hospice director Audrey Belk.
So, as an alternative, Dabbs and his fellow members at Gloria Dei Lutheran Church will hold a benefit concert at 3 this afternoon, featuring performances by Matthew Trexler, Franz Merrell, Bryan Snyder, Dr. William Battermann and Dawn Merrell; all proceeds going to Rowan Home Health and Hospice.
Gloria Dei, which Dabbs called a “very musical church,” holds three benefit concerts every year to support local organizations as part of an outreach ministry.
Dabbs said he wants to raise as much money as he can for Hospice (offerings will be matched by the Lutheran Brotherhood and Aid Association for Lutherans) but, more than that, he wants to raise more awareness of the organization’s purpose and services.
Though Hospice care was available before 1982, it was then that Medicare agreed to pay for it under certain standards and rules. One of those rules is that a physician must believe the patient is within six months of death before he or she can recommend Hospice care.
“It’s much easier to predict cancer death than it is a congestive heart failure or amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (Lou Gehrig’s Disease), end-stage cardiac (disease)or respiratory problems,”Belk said, offering that as an explanation as to why some people are not aware of Hospice’s services.
In fact, the Hospice Foundation of America said hospice care is for any life-limiting illness that no longer responds to cure-oriented treatments. The care can’t prolong life but it does not hasten death and, in the meantime, the patient is offered comfort and dignity, pain control and medical knowledge.
Sometimes physicians even have a problem talking with their patients about death “because they were so focused on saving lives” that they can prohibit the patient from getting the hospice care they need.
“Patients will get better if we have them long enough,”Belk said. Hospice often gets assignments for patients so far into the end of their living that they only have them for a few weeks or even a few days.
On the other hand, not all Hospice patients die while in care. At times, non-cancer patients, usually, will show signs of getting better — enough for the nurses and doctors to say they’ve “graduated” from Hospice. But if need be, Hospice will come back if there is a relapse.
Sometimes, doctors, like some family members, might feel that receiving hospice care is the point of giving up hope.
“But it’s not about that,”Belk said, “it’s hope for something different.”
Hospice nurses become like family. During the illness, they not only take care of medical needs but they take care of household chores and fill emotional voids.
Where home health care is billed by the visit, on a timetable, Belk said hospice is more a concept.
“Hospice nurses come in and wash the dishes, get a glass of water, fix flowers, have a cup of coffee,”she said. For those who used to be able to do more before they got sick, a hospice nurse will even put on a pair of gloves and go digging in the dirt with a patient.
But support does not stop with the patient. The family members — spouses, children, siblings — are also considered. Dabbs said support from the staff, from registered nurses during his mother’s illness to certified grief facilitators after her death, is what has helped sustain him when “after the funeral, everybody leaves.”
“They are a wonderful group of people,”Dabbs said. “Very caring.”
Preparing for the end of life can be a difficult thought process depending on socialization and even religion, Belk said. But it needs to be done by every person, young to young-at-heart.
“We all, as we get older, are aware that one day we’re going to have a need for something like hospice because … nursing homes are certainly not the way we like to think in terms of our last time on earth.”
Dabbs said he is still grieving but is dealing with it by working with his church and Rowan Health and Hospice. He encourages others to do the same.
“It’s a great organization and I know there are folks out there who are willing to participate in any way, shape or form,”he said. “I think that sometimes people think they can’t do anything unless they’re very wealthy but that’s not the case.” He said the time and energy people have are worth just as much as the dollars that mount up.
The Rowan Regional Hospice benefit concert will begin at 3 p.m. today at Gloria Dei Lutheran Church, 1908 Statesville Blvd. A reception will follow in the fellowship hall.
Donations will be matched by the Lutheran Brotherhood and the Aid Association for Lutherans. Contributions made at a later date can be made payable to Lutheran Brotherhood Branch No. 8140 and Cindy Basinger, 1070 Old Cress Road, Salisbury, NC 28147.
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