EDITOR’S NOTE: Old File’s Store down on Bringle Ferry Road has been gone for more than a year now, moved to Gold Hill to be part of a historic village.

But Greg File remembers what he saw and heard there, remembers the tales told and opinions argued by the men who gathered around the pot-bellied stove when he was a kid, tagging after his daddy.

And one day he decided to write them down so they’d never be forgotten. And gave them names. And is sharing them with us last year and has more we haven’t heard for a second helping during this year’s holidays.

Dirty Dishes

When Beulah and Ernest Wyatt moved to Florida with their trucking business, they lived in a mobile home park. It wasn’t long till they had made friends with the others in the park.

One couple would come over every day right before supper time. Beulah and Ernest were always polite and would ask if they wanted to eat with them. They always accepted and would leave as soon as they were through eating, not staying around to clean the table or wash the dishes.

After a while, they had worn their welcome pretty thin, and the Wyatts were wondering how to stop this intrusion at mealtime without hurting anyone’s feelings. Then one day after finishing their meal, Beulah had an idea. She got up from the table and said, “Well, it’s time to feed the dog and clean the dishes.”

So she put her plate on the floor and let their German shepherd lick the plate clean. Then she put the plate in the cabinet.

Their neighbors left and didn’t come back for mealtime ever again.

Golf-ball

Sometimes my daddy told stories on me to the men around the pot belly stove at File’s Store.

Like about that game of golf-ball Ladie and I played.

When we were growing up, we used whatever was available and improvised or substituted things to play what we wanted to play.

Once when baseball season came in, Ladie wanted to play baseball. I found a ball bat my Dad had made on his turning lathe. Dad must have been tired the day he turned this bat because he stopped turning a long time before it was the right size for a baseball bat. I mean, that bat was really huge.

Ladie asked what could we use for a baseball. I thought for a little while, and the only balls I could think of were in my Dad’s golf bag. So we had that big bat and a golf ball. We didn’t need gloves or uniforms. We could use our hands and the shorts we had on for that.

One day were were over at Ladie’s house, and we decided to play. I got ready to hit in front of their front door.

“Now, hit the ball,” Ladie said. “Don’t let it hit the house.”

Then he threw that golf ball over-handed. It was fast but right where I liked to hit. I swung that big bat hard, and there was a big crack. Ladie somehow took wings. He was lifted off his feet and landed flat on his back some feet away from where he had pitched the ball. That golf ball had hit him right between the eyes.

Ladie was motionless and had turned white as a sheet. His eyes were wide open. He was unconscious. I thought he dead. I was scared stiff. I just knew I was in trouble. I couldn’t run away and hide, and I couldn’t run and tell anyone. I mean I was really scared stiff.

Finally Ladie started moving, and it wasn’t much longer till we had a big softball to play with.

Tell me a lie

The miller had his water-driven mill where he could mill the customers’ grain and at the same time keep his sawmill going.

The sawmill was the type where the blade reciprocated up and down kind of like a jig saw. It was slow and took a long time to saw a log of any length, so the miller had it set to quit when it got to the end of the log. Then he could go up and reset the mill for another cut.

His neighbor was kind of a a prankster and would come around and shoot the bull from time to time.

One day when he came by the miller asked him, “Well, tell me another lie.”

The neighbor dropped his head and told the miller that the farmer down the road had died.

The miller shut the mill down and went to see the family and offer help.

But when he got there, the farmer was out in the field plowing.

The prankster had given the miller exactly what he asked for — a lie.