CHARLOTTE — The biggest difference between college ball and the NFL isn’t the size and speed of the players, it’s the level of commitment.

Just ask West Rowan graduate John Milem, now a rookie defensive end with the San Francisco 49ers.

Last fall, when he was sacking quarterbacks for the Lenoir-Rhyne Bears, Milem could handle defeat philosophically. He knew full well the Bears weren’t going to beat the Catawbas and Carson-Newmans of the world, so he simply competed as hard as he could, shook hands when the final whistle blew, then walked off the field with a smile and a shrug.

But it’s different now.

Yes, he was thrilled to be playing Sunday at Ericsson Stadium, just an hour from home. And yes, he was excited about the long list of friends and family who came to watch him share a football field with legends like Jerry Rice and Reggie White.

But when you lose at this level, it overshadows everything.

And you could read exactly that in the face of Milem as he sat, head bowed, in front of his locker in a deathly silent visitors locker room. His facial expression, which contained equal parts anger and frustration, was not a pleasant one.

“In college, you practice hard a couple of hours a day, but you’ve still got a life outside of football,” said Milem. “Now, football is my life. My livelihood. You work all week for those three hours on Sunday. And when you lose, man, it’s just devastating.”

Sunday was pretty devastating for all the 49ers. The Carolina Panthers had killed them in the second week of the season. Since then, the 49ers had plotted revenge and came to Ericsson Sunday eager to exact it. Instead, the beleaguered Panthers suddenly looked like the ‘61 Green BayPackers, dragging the 49ers all over the field.

Basically, San Francisco’s defense couldn’t cope with Panther QBSteve Beuerlein. The game was all over with 8:31 still showing on the clock. That’s when Panther Joe Nedney launched a 38-yard field goal over the 6-foot-7 Milem’s outstretched paw to put the Panthers ahead 34-16. That kick ended the scoring and sent much of the announced crowd of 60,000 in search of their vehicles.

Over those final meaningless minutes, Milem felt tiny in spite of his 290 pounds, as the agonizing realization that another week’s sweat would go unrewarded slowly sunk in. There was the additional burden of knowing that at 2-6, 49er playoff hopes are history with half a season still to go. And the despair of knowing that he and his defensive mates rank 31st in the NFL in points allowed.

And there are only 31 teams in the league.

“We’ve got talent, but we’ve had injuries, bad breaks all year,” said Milem, a fifth-round draft pick last April. “We lost to Green Bay on a bad pass interference call. Lost to Oakland (in overtime) because we got a 29-yard field goal blocked. How often does that happen?”

Despite Sunday’s misery, Milem’s future looks bright. He says he has no regrets about declaring himself available for the draft even though he could have played another year at L-R.

“I don’t see how things could have worked out any better for me,”he said.

Milem plays on special teams and sees quite a few snaps at left end as the backup to Anthony Pleasant.

“Anthony’s an 11-year veteran,” says Milem. “He knows all the tricks. But every game I get a little better and play a little more.”

Milem says the biggest thing he’s learned from watching vets like Pleasant is the NFLmindset. Every single Sunday you have to do unto others before they can do it to you.

“I’ve learned you have to play like you’re mad at the world on every single play,” said Milem. “If you don’t, you won’t survive here.”

Milem survived OK against the Panthers, although he wasn’t a huge factor. He had bits and pieces of four tackles, although he was never the primary hitter. He had one great chance for a solo stop, but Panther back Brad Hoover (a Ledford High alum) bounced off him. It was a measure of payback for Hoover, because Milem had plowed him earlier in the game on a kickoff return.

Speaking of kickoff returns, Milem actually had a 13-yard runback this season.

“They squibbed one to me,” said Milem, “and you know me, I wasn’t going to let it go. But teams have seen the film now, I guess. They won’t kick ‘em to me anymore. They know if they do, I’m running it back.”

But Milem is a defensive end and members of that proud fraternity measure their worth in sacks — not kickoff returns. And there have been no sacks for Milem in his first half season, although he came close once on Sunday. He beat the block of Panther Jeno James and drew a bead on Beuerlein, but safety Lance Schulters picked up the sack a split-second in front of the onrushing Milem.

“Almost,” Milem said, forcing a weak smile. “Maybe I sort of helped Lance push him over. But either way, Beuerlein was going down.”

Milem often contemplates his first sack. So do the 49ers, who have made a substantial financial commitment to him.

“Back in training camp, part of the rookie initiation for me and (fellow rookie defensive end John) Engelberger was to show off our sack dance,” said Milem. “They wanted to see mine, but I told them I didn’t have one. I just sort of stood up there.”

That’s when defensive line coach Dwaine Board told Milem exactly what he was going to do whenever he sacked someone.

“You’re an ex-Marine, John,” said Board. “When you get a sack, you’re gonna salute.”

“Ah, man, don’t make me do that,” said Milem.

But his teammates loved the idea.

n

Despite his semi-celebrity status, Milem shows no signs of forgetting his humble North Carolina roots. He went to watch his L-R Bear buddies lose on Saturday and says he’s working with West Rowan coach Scott Young to set up a foundation to help the Falcons’ football program.

“I want West to keep right on kicking Concord and Kannapolis’ rear ends,” said Milem, who actually referred to a part of the Wonders’ and Spiders’ anatomies that rhymes with pass. “It’s great. I’m really proud of those Falcons.”

The Falcons are proud of Milem, too. Now, they just wanna see that that first sack — and that first salute.

n

Mike London covers the Panthers for the Post.