Salisbury’s tennis team was far from well, but still played well enough to advance to the second round of the 2A state dual team playoffs.

The Hornets (17-1) coughed and groaned and Tylonoled their way past Newton-Conover 6-3 at City Park on Tuesday, but the team hardly resembled the one whose adventures N-C coach John Hewins had been following on the Internet.

“Today,” said Hornet coach Chris Myers, “we were a M.A.S.H. unit.”

Taking the places of Hawkeye, Radar and Hot Lips Hoolihan — in no particular order — were Lindsay Hampton, Lane Wallace and Michelle Leonard.

Freshman No. 3 player Hampton probably had the worst affliction, although Leonard might argue. The diagnosis on Hampton, usually unbeatable in her flight, is bronchitis. She tried to play, but was at maybe half-speed. She fell 6-4, 6-0 to Mary Fitzgerald and was getting weaker by the minute. Still, she did her part.

“If Lindsay doesn’t play and everyone under her has to bump up a spot, you might have seen a different outcome,” said Myers. “I knew she was sick, but had no idea she was that sick. She definitely took one for the team.”

Leonard also took one for the team — at least in singles, where Rebecca Dover beat her. She’s been fighting kidney stones since the recent CCC Tournament. She and Hampton won the tourney doubles title anyway, but Leonard was in so much pain and under so much medication that she can’t recall any of it.

“All I remember is telling Lindsay that she’d have to run after everything,” said Leonard. “I told her if it came right at me, I’d try to hit it.”

Wallace is among the walking wounded as well, although the exact nature of her illness wasn’t clear.

“Let’s just say I’ve had a baaaaaaad week,” said the sophomore left-hander.

The losses by Hampton and Leonard were balanced out by three relatively easy Hornet wins, one by Wallace at No.5.

“It didn’t take my normal three hours today,” Wallace beamed. “But we’re playing a good team. They’re like Lexington.” High praise for the Red Devils, because Lexington often gives the Hornets fits.

Joining Wallace on the victory stand were No. 6 Kristy Woodson, who claimed honorary M.A.S.H. status because of an “oh-my-gosh-I’m about-to-die” tummyache, and No. 2 Tonya Fox, who reported no maladies.

“That girl played me a tough match,” said Fox. “But I won the points when we got to deuce.I just had a good day.”

Fox was then asked to have an even better one by Myers.

The Hornets led only 3-2 with Brandy Albracht’s heated marathon match at No. 4 still ongoing and looking iffy. There was no way Hampton could play doubles, so Myers reunited Leonard and Fox — who played together in ‘99 with great success— as his No. 1 team.

“Like old times,” said Leonard.

And at No. 2 doubles (where Fox usually teams with Anita Edwards), Myers placed his sanity in the happy-go-lucky hands of Wallace and Woodson. Woodson hadn’t played doubles all year.

“We played it off,” laughed Woodson. “We acted like we knew what we were doing. Actually, we communicated pretty well.”

Fortunately, the pressure was taken off both doubles teams when Albracht finally prevailed to give Salisbury a 4-2 lead.

Soon after that, Leonard took over. It hurts her to sit or to stand, but apparently not to smack tennis balls. A big Leonard serve and a Fox smash at the net on the weak return wrapped up a 10-5 decision at No. 1 doubles — and the match — for the Hornets.

“I’ve still felt a whole lot better,” whispered Leonard.

Moments later, Woodson and Wallace bounced off the court with wide grins after rolling to victory in their impromptu debut.

“Woodson was awesome,” said Myers. “She made me look bad for not playing her before. Kristy stepped up today, but then, all the girls did. Otherwise, we don’t get through a day like this.”

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NOTES:Albracht and Edwards lost at No. 3 to make the final 6-3. ... Hewins’ Devils finished 10-5 (two losses were to Statesville, the overwhelming favorite to win the 2A title). They had to be pleased. Two years ago, their first-round match with Salisbury lasted little more than an hour. This time they made the Hornets turn on the lights.